Funny pics with captions. (8.9) (5348 views, 731 replies)
@BoonEvil Looks like a bad case of Peyronie's disease. I've seen those commercials.
@BoonEvil My legs have always been juuuust long enough to touch the ground. I'm so lucky.
@(⌐■_■) I don't do public transport. Apart from being hives for germs, bacteria, viruses and countless other nightmarish nasties with names I can't pronounce. The air is always heavily pungent with mixtures of wafting sweaty body odour, halitosis and farts and most bus stops smell of piss when there's no breeze.
I'm f**king classy I'll have you know young lady!
@SimonM A quote from the movie Crash:
You have no idea, do you? You have no idea why they put them great big windows on the sides of buses, do you? One reason only. To humiliate the people who are reduced to ridin' on 'em.
www.imdb.com/title/tt0375679/?re...
@DontSpeak Okay, I have some fresh celery.
Does the leafy end go in first, or the blunt end?
@PureVodka🍺 My neighbor texted me, " I've just made synonym rolls."I texted her back, " You mean like grammar used to make?"
I haven't heard from her since.
@Buttless The first vacuum I remember my folks having was an Electrolux. I remember my mother scolding me for pulling the cord all the way out and reveling as the machine retracted it all so quickly. Good times.
@PureVodka🍺 Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
She wanted to lay it on the line.
@CitizenD I need to share with you my book, "101 Uses for a Dead Cat."
www.amazon.com/101-Uses-Dead-Sim...
@StarKissed Well, I loved this one:
www.amazon.com/-/de/dp/144940116...
That's why the cat book seems promising to me:)
@❄Suisen❄ That would be 3 ways. Weightlifting isnt exactly on my to do list for happiness
@Buttless Lucky is a matter of perspective. When my ex was pregnant, all the cravings she got.....she got them between 3 and 5 am. So when your beloved one wakes you up in the middle of the night and lovingly orders you to get dressed and drive 10 km to the nearest Burger King so she can feast on a double whopper with extra cheese and extra bacon......and as you drive back, she calls you to tell you that she changed her mind and now desperately wants an extra large and icy chocolate milkshake and.....5 minutes later calls you again and tells you that you better buy two of them and......2 min later she calls you to tell you that she also wants fresh strawberries...you are starting to re-evaluate the miracle of life
@SimonM Not true. I am also terrible at sports and my finger is glued to the Parked Regen button.
@SimonM ...and this is where you would be wrong. There is a blade hidden in the pom pom of each shoe. The idea was to kick your adversary in the family jewels....and deprive him of a chance to a family. They were widely used in the revolution of 1821 against the Turkish occupation.
@JudgeDredd Shit! They're really scary shoes! Where's that intimidating upturned codpiece when you need it?!
@SimonM Oh yeah. With these shoes that codpiece becomes a necessity. Its a really impressive uniform actually. The skirt isnt a normal skirt either. It is sewn in cells, several layers of it, so when you jump from high rocks the cells inflate and act like a parachute to slow your descent. And that was in 1821.
@JudgeDredd I remember I was told about the skirt doing that years ago, I didn't know it was true and the source wasn't reliable for info at the best of times. It was before internet days though so I never got round to looking it up.
@(⌐■_■) Hey, there would be a lot less regulation, no building codes, or approvals from the county either, since it's not a permanent structure. 💡 Good idea.
@michael59 I got checked out in Tesco yesterday by a woman that looked like an obese Ewok. She had visible facial hair from about 5 metres, unkempt, she was shallow breathing through her continuously open mouth and using the shopping trolly as a Zimmer Frame.. Then she grinned at me, more like a grimace with bad teeth...
@CitizenD What is this trying to say? Did someone think these were T.P. rolls, and one got all used up?
@StarKissed Exactly!
Or in other (my) words - someone wiped their Arse with him.
@PureVodka🍺 I wonder if he was the same Nigerian guy trying to give away all that cash.
@SimonM Ok, Simon's woman is still in the kitchen making him food, and the other 3 women can't cook.
SOLVED!
This was funnier with sound, but I can't get it to work. My daughter had to bring in the young ones when temps got too cold.
@PureVodka🍺 There are places where people eat butter like we eat cheese. I forget where. I think it might be Switzerland. I also know of this German family that saves the bacon grease and spreads it on a slice of bread like we would with peanut butter.
@michael59 Most of the time i will use up the bacon grease via pouring all over the food on the plate.
You will prob find this funny, if i have a mixed salad with my food, i always put extra virgin olive oil on it and if i have just been cooking bacon, i will also put bacon grease on the salad as well. It's very tasty, but i am doing Keto.
I also go through 1/2 kilo of butter a week in coffee, but apart from nibbling on a little bit, i can not eat it like some do.
Thanks for sharing.
@PureVodka🍺 & Michael59, in the Southern U.S., they take the oil and drippings from frying ham and bacon and spoon it over biscuits.
It's called:
"Red Eye Gravy."
True Story!
@michael59 lol, my folks and all my relatives are from the South, so yes, unfortunately.
Not my thing.
@michael59 That first one were she puts all that extra salt in it LL
www.youtube.com/shorts/AQm5VPbrr...
www.youtube.com/shorts/3GITMm_Tu...
www.youtube.com/shorts/k4fkcNn6h...
This is not what we are lead to believe.
@PureVodka🍺 We only used margarine when I was a kid. As soon as I became an adult living on my own, I never ate it again. Butter is so much better on everything.
@michael59 Before Keto i used margarine, the main reason was i had drilled in my head butter is bad for you (saturated fats). We are brought up with lies and misinformation.
@michael59 After cutting out margarine from my diet for quite a while and trying to eat more healthily, I had to revert back to it one time and I was doubled over with cramps so bad, I thought I was dying. Never again! Gah!
@PureVodka🍺 What happens if you don't do enough exercise to counteract all that fat? That is way more grams of fat than we should put in our bodies, isn't it? (Yes, I heard her say it breaks down into Triglycerides, etc., so your arteries aren't affected), but it still seems it's an overload in some way. I'd need to study on this before I'd believe her. lol
@StarKissed When doing Keto, your body uses saturated fat has the main fuel source. What we are told over the years as we grow up is just lies and misinformation. Do your own research here, but it is to much carbs that " turn in to fat ", when i started Keto, i was well over doing the coconut oil (only just learning about Keto) which is 82% saturated fat, but for what little fat i had on me, it just melted off. (I was honestly shocked at how easy you could lose fat, even tho my kcal intake had over doubled)
I had posted a lot more here, but half of it is missing, i'm not writing it again.
@michael59 This must've been drawn by guys in the U.S. We still use plastic ones here.
@❄Suisen❄ After watching a Dr Berg vid on how much plastic a human can consume, i bought something like these:
bargainwholesalers.co.uk/product...
Handy for when i drink ACV.
@StarKissed But.... I believe everything on the Internet, that's technology.
Don'y you?
@StarKissed The groom thought it was hilarious. The bride, not so much Even funnier was the fact that the groom actually attempted to bring it back to life. Though he seemed to be doing it mostly because it annoyed the hell out of his bride. He had made some good progress on it until she had enough of both him and me and broke it back to smithereens. I have never seen a woman clean broken glass with such a satisfied look on her face
And before you judge me, you should know that she was a handful. When I first met her some 30 years ago, I went to pick them both up to go to a night club. It was a really posh one and the owner was a family friend. As such, I always had VIP treatment at his bars and clubs, meaning I never had to wait in line and was allowed to park my car right in front of the entrance. This is the funny part here. My car at the time was a Mitsubishi Gallant from 1970. It was my father's first car and he gave it to me as I had just gotten my driver's license and he didnt want to worry about the unavoidable damages a rookie driver will do. And the car looked kinda beat up and for good reason. So, I am about to make the turn into the club's driveway and all of a sudden, she yells NOOOOOOOOO. Admittedly I was surprised and asked what was the problem. And the groom replied: "Cant you tell? She doesnt want to be seen exiting this car"
...
Read more
Similar forum topics
- Funny pics with captions. (7.9) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.1) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.2) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.3) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.4) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.5) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.6) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.7) (1 year ago)
- Funny pics with captions. (8.8) (1 year ago)
God
Continued from dosmovies.com/forum/thread/Funny...