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Funny pics with captions. (8.1) (5523 views, 723 replies)

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@PureVodka🍺 lol Talk about torture.

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@max_black smiley smiley smiley

A laughing pumpkin would be better suited. smiley

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@SimonM HA! Clever clever.

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@torrac That just reminded me of this smiley

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@SimonM Classic smiley

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@Bread&Circuses Roll in ze hay, is classic as well!

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@max_black smiley+10.5 smiley

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@SimonM Here is a picture from Dimitrios' college days when he was practicing with the prostate simulator.



Those were the days. smiley smiley smiley

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@CitizenD get your prostate and eye's checked at the same time smiley smiley

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@CitizenD Why is he using his finger? smiley smiley

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@SimonM That's how a prostate exam is performed. This video will explain it. smiley smiley

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@SimonM Excellent! This is the humor that moderators cherish. smiley smiley

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@SimonM smiley smiley smiley
Yep. You can't trust those doctors.

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@SimonM I didn't know who he was. I found it in the same search as the other two prostate exam memes I posted. I don't keep track of the worlds PMs.

He had to be Greek didn't he! I couldn't have picked a better one if I'd tried. smiley smiley

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It all comes down to this...

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@michael59 lol Good one.

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@1FRAC Just shared this with me lol.


Some fancy editing there.

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@PureVodka🍺 smiley She is so funny. I miss her.

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@KavaLavaSava I honestly don't think I could eat that. smiley

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@michael59 another example of stupid sh*t on the net,eh?

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@KavaLavaSava F**k thats soo wrong

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@🌞Suisen🌞 Yep, people got weird sh*t running through their brain to do this stuff.

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@KavaLavaSava I can just see the kids running and screaming. smiley

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@michael59 Yep, it's a nasty smiley

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@SimonM Line well crossed lol

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@shabbapaul Thank you. smiley

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@SimonM So is that emoji. I just realized that it looks as though the little green thing barfs and then sucks it right back into it's mouth. smiley

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@CitizenD That would be even funnier if there was a USB cable going up his butt lol

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smiley

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Wow--a vibrator that never needs new batteries!

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@dubub smiley EauDeerGahd thst explains its confusing function! Now this gizmo BZZZing is gonna run amok in my imagination. smiley Might need a hefty dose of whiskey to forget. smiley js

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WHEN YOUR DOGGO BETS THE HORSES:
media.gab.com/system/media_attac...

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(edited)



Heeere, KittyKittyKitty...

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@dubub I know right!? smiley
Someone watched their cat playing and said, ‘’Oh yeah I need one of those in my butt.’’

Guess it’s a better choice than the remote control. smiley

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Anyone googling ‘’things in butts’’ on a company computer could get in trouble. So I’m helping Simon for safety reasons. YW👍

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@(⌐■_■) smiley You got all my x-rays! smiley smiley

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@SimonM 👋🤣. 〰️ 😉👍

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@(⌐■_■) Yep! Working in the E.R., you see all types of thigs you never imagined.

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@DontSpeak WYLD GUESS: this appears ‘adjacent’ to the doorstop butt plugs invention. Ya know, ‘’great minds DO think alike’’ so, this could be a story telling corner for sharing guud ideas??

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@(⌐■_■) I was sent this on Signal by a friend. I despise Reddit, so I never would have seen it.

FUNNY!!

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@DontSpeak NOPE!



That's the place where some Texan cowboys meet and (sometimes) enjoy the warm fuzzy feeling, when they piss their pants. And, erm... other stuff. smiley smiley

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@CitizenD smiley never go to Texas.

Got it!

smiley

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@DontSpeak I'm glad, we're on the same page. smiley

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@SimonM Surprise!?
Errrmahgerd, makin’ me cry-laugh!!


#donotaskwhy
#iswear
#plzdont

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@SimonM Something about that suction cup on the end of the testicles makes me... smiley

smiley

It's like a new version of "Alien" (face-huggerlike).

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@DontSpeak Yeah wouldn't you look great with that stuck to your face! smiley

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@SimonM Would you like to try first?

"Alien: First Contact, SIMON's Story."

JK smiley

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@DontSpeak Plenty of people think I'm a d**khead anyway so I think you should be the first to try smiley smiley

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@SimonM No one has ever called me a d1ck head.

You are much more qualified!

smiley

JK

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@DontSpeak Thank you, you flatter me! smiley

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@DontSpeak Guud guud guuuud GUUD Vibrations🎶 ~ Beach Boys

#waitaminute
#wehatebeachboys

‘’SIMON, fetch the bzzzy doorstop butt plug thingy, hurry.’’

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@(⌐■_■) The girl in the middle is having a minute.... ooooooohhhhhh.... smiley

I don't care what's poopular! I'm not shining my anus to anything or anyone.

No. Thank. You.

smiley

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@DontSpeak Not even if a friendly doorstop was involved? 🙃

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@(⌐■_■) I don't confuse door stops for anything that gets near my butt hole.

It's an outtie, not an innie. smiley

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@(⌐■_■) How about a chocolate buttplug? smiley

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@SimonM Whoa... fuk’d up family easter basket or whut!? smiley

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@SimonM You’ve already ruined my lyfe with those doorstop butt plugs. I’m gunna need a crapload more whiskey to forget apparently.

Hint: I’ve already told someone else about ‘em.
*Srsly, MOAR 🥃 WHISKEY 👁👁 💭 PLZ!!

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@(⌐■_■) Eau Noe!!
*remembered I never drink.

Well, pfffft. smiley

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@(⌐■_■) I don't have whiskey, how about a bong and smoke to forget instead? smiley

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@SimonM ‘’Hooka Farts’’ will make that ass even more skunky! Line right up over here folks: Simon’s got evurdangthing covered!

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@(⌐■_■) If you'd like to visit Dons Lab, (Citizen D) he provides a custom fitting service, here he is working with another client smiley

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@SimonM Ok that's enough! Women don't do that stuff! (I don't think) smiley

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@SimonM What. Sick. Mind.

#ArmieHammer

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Ossifer, mai pic-a-nic basket got took’d. smiley

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@(⌐■_■) What a sweet little guy. Black Bears here are, however, the more aggressive. Baby = Momma.

Brown = Duck
Black = Run
White = Good night

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@CitizenD Nasty isn't it! smiley

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@SimonM That's an understatement!

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@CitizenD Our main perp Armie.

Sicko.

#ArmieHammerapervert

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@SimonM Ooooooo ewwwww

My eyes!!!!

smiley smiley

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@SimonM smiley smiley smiley added to the list of things that cannot be unseen

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smiley smiley

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Another good one @1FRAC just shared with me.

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@Bread&Circuses Ba-dum-da. lol smiley

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@max_black So cute.

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@SimonM Must have took me 30+ secs to get that L smiley L.

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@PureVodka🍺 Oooo...soft and scented, too!

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@dubub smiley Wicked.

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@PureVodka🍺 Is the KFC an incentive or the cost? smiley smiley

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@SimonM lol Good one.

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never had KFC, any good? smiley

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@🌞Suisen🌞 Guessing you noticed how the first part of the number plate reads lol.

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almost

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@SimonM poor pupper smiley

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It would be great to get a friend to help you.

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@CitizenD I love this. smiley

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(edited)

When you have been in space to long.
media.gab.com/system/media_attac...
Put loop on (plays better).

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@DontSpeak smiley smiley smiley Excellent!

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@CitizenD smiley

I love these! Smart and funny; they're smarfy!

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@DontSpeak Indeed they are!

This one kinda reminds me of me. smiley

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...my whaaaattt now???? smiley

smiley

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A toast to all illiterates. smiley

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@CitizenD Those Border Collies are the sweetest puppers ever! 💜 Very Smart too!

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@StarKissed Hi Connie, we have a Lagotto - very cute and funny. smiley

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@CitizenD So cute! Never heard of one; must be more known about in Europe? 💜

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@StarKissed I believe so too. It is an Italian dog breed. Not very common.

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@CitizenD Thanks for sharing, miss you!

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@StarKissed I'm here.💕

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smiley

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@CitizenD I don't need a home-made, artificial one FFS. The real thing is enough equipment for any woman to contend with. smiley

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@DontSpeak I couldn't resist. smiley

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@CitizenD Me, neither. smiley

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@CitizenD HoleeeShyt I JUST WOKE UP and honestly I wasn't expected all this snot and coffee on my keyboard this early. BUT, WHUT DID I JUST READ? 'I'm going to make a squeaking mimsy?'👀 AAAAAK + WhutDerfak

By golly I'm awake now - at least I didn't 💩 so if I just breathe i'll be okayyyyy. smiley

I thot the richard gere gerbil story was a thing back-in-the-day. But this is a srsly amped up twisty version.

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@(⌐■_■) smiley I thought for a full three minutes about whether I could post this - despite my high ethical principles...

Then I couldn't resist the temptation. smiley

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@michael59 lol Took a sec to get that, good one.

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@SimonM hahahaha at a glance I thought this was a mouth with a tongue!

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@DontSpeak Anthropomorphic crappers! EEEEEEK!

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Chinese food smiley

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@CitizenD Don? You are evil and you must be...

...employed for more evil!!!

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@DontSpeak That's right! Who do you want me to finish? smiley

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@SimonM smiley smiley

K.

That's my notions of having a dinner out sorted.

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@SimonM When I stumbled on this I nearly laughed myself off my chair. smiley

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@DontSpeak WAITAMINUTE... smiley WHO THE HELL ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO HUFF GRANDMOTHERS?!

*what are you people reading over here in the dark with flashlights? ...dayum smiley

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@💛Yellow_rose1💛 Fucking scholarly! smiley

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@max_black That actually took me a minute. lol

smiley smiley smiley smiley

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@max_black lol..

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@SimonM smiley My ex's van.

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@Buttless My condolences smiley

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@max_black Offensive and funny all at the same time! smiley

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@DontSpeak "she told me to come, I was already there..." AC/DC
Ah, the classics.

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@Buttless I like Thunderstruck... but then again, I love heavy metal (no shock there, of course).

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@DontSpeak I have most of their music, and seen them twice. They have some great live vids, my favourite:

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@Buttless Since you had Finnish work mates, did you ever listen to any Finnish metal? Like Nightwish (which sing in English)?

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@DontSpeak They never played rock or metal, but sang dirges like Scottish funeral-music when they were drunk.
Are Kaleo from your end of the world?

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@Buttless They are from Iceland. Nice!

Sometimes when you describe them it nearly seems like they were trying to be silly and make fun what they think you might believe?

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@DontSpeak It wasn't for my benefit, it is what they did after work.
English drinking songs are happy.

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@max_black lol..

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Yep...that'd definitely would do the trick smiley

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@torrac lol Good one.

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@torrac hahahahaha priceless!

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smiley smiley smiley

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@SimonM She's just jealous smiley

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@max_black So am I smiley

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smiley smiley

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@DontSpeak This is a bit more authentic smiley

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@SimonM lol Good one.

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@SimonM

1FRAC1 Just shared that with me, good timing lol.

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@SimonM I got a message you replied to something here that I posted, but it doesn't lead to anything?

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lol

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@max_black I'm shocked, those actually are his children! smiley smiley smiley

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lol

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@DontSpeak See how much more practical and less demanding men are.. smiley

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@SimonM Man, I repeatedly warned him to stay away from Paris Hilton...but did he listen...nooooooo !!

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@DontSpeak After studying this picture from an engineer's point of view, I assess the exposed area to be 97.63%.

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@michael59 luv that!

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@DontSpeak Huh ? What ?

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This has to make you laugh, but you have to watch the whole thing. Supposedly this "commercial" actually aired on Canadian TV.

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@StarKissed Hahahaha. I remember the REAL actual film this uses facetiously. They played it for us in the sixth grade. As I recall now, it coincided with a short-lived monthly magazine. I'm guessing it was 1970.

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@Bread&Circuses Thanks for watching, No one will usually watch anything I post, lol

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@StarKissed I remember it too. It was in the 70's. I lived in Manitoba, Canada at the time.

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@StarKissed Poor little spider!

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(edited)

@max_black Hmmm... think I should actually thank god for being a great driver? smiley Or being excited to meet Mark Twain! smiley ... all my friends are there, which I'm rly grateful for 'cuz nobody likes stairs.

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@SimonM Oh my... that's a boar?! It's hard to believe something like that could actually happen!



smiley

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@DontSpeak I've posted this before, it's another great example smiley

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@SimonM Dolphins can be aggressive. After all, they are predators. I'm glad in all my diving this never happened to me! smiley

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@DontSpeak Uh oh, now it's rubbing off. smiley

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@SimonM What the hell? smiley

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@DontSpeak Very true.

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@DontSpeak Anyone who has been through it a few times will understand.

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@Buttless Exactly.

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@michael59 ...Wait until it as hold of the cheese and then go for it...

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@PureVodka🍺 Purrrrfict. smiley

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@michael59 lol..

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@michael59 lol..

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@michael59 love it ! smiley

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@SimonM What the actual f...??? smiley smiley smiley

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@DontSpeak I thought the same smiley smiley

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@SimonM First thing that actually needs to be established is, what precisely is an "appropriate" amount of toilet paper, for each toilet occasion. smiley

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@DontSpeak Or, who gets to watch you using it? smiley

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@SimonM That's part two! The specific protocol for witnessing over usage of said proper allotment of toilet paper... and that's really where it goes into questionable territory (in more ways than one!). smiley

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@DontSpeak I think this is how it works smiley

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@SimonM That's just crazy. AND nasty, too. Yuck. Toilets are the least sanitary place anywhere!! smiley

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@DontSpeak I doubt there's anything sanitary about what they're doing that wouldn't rival any germs already in there smiley

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@SimonM Blech. lol smiley

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@DontSpeak Bleach!

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@torrac Oh my god. haha smiley

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@DontSpeak Anyone else thinking that was going to say. [SPOILER]

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@PureVodka🍺 Yes, I did. That's why I thought this was really clever.

Plus, his attitude, "Gimme ur lunch".

smiley

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@PureVodka🍺 And i've only just got that [SPOILER] smiley But please say if i have got this wrong.

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@michael59 How do you keep and idiot in suspense for the rest of the day?

I'll tell you tomorrow. smiley

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@Bread&Circuses You pressed the play button, didn't you. smiley smiley

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@michael59 I'll tell you tomorrow. smiley

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@torrac hahahahahaha! smiley

What flavour is the Batman? smiley

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@DontSpeak I can only speak for catwoman smiley

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@torrac I hope you're Joking.

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How cool is this picture?



Can you see it? smiley

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@michael59 Is that a car/van with a mirrored finish?
Are those even legal on the road? I'd think other drivers wd be blinded in the sun...

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@michael59 Very cool smiley

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@michael59 Upon much reflection, I become wheel y tire d.

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@Bread&Circuses Even after reading your comment earlier i still could not make anything out, yet i've just looked at it now and can easily make out the tyre and what looks like the door handle of the vehicle!

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@SimonM Oh my god, that's so ... funny! smiley smiley smiley

(But not a hint for those of you reading this that are psychos.)

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I have neither caption nor remark
regarding this
image...

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@max_black ...The new sneeze decompression helmet, sneeze in public without anyone knowing...

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@PureVodka🍺 works for me... smiley

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@max_black ...And if you order within the next 5 year, get the fart silencer attachment for free, just use the code [SPOILER] at checkout...

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@SimonM Bahahahaha. Nice.

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@max_black lol..

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@CitizenD Awwwww.

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I seriously doubt he said this, but hey; I'm going with it! smiley

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@DontSpeak Or tell him to kiss your A**E

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@torrac Do chicken value meals advertise this? smiley

smiley

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@DontSpeak Or you could just take it as a compliment, especially if you've ticked all the boxes! smiley

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@SimonM That I'm cheap? smiley

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@DontSpeak Where did you get that from?! No! smiley
I just meant if you're wanted for all your assets, not just a single pair, you must be pretty fit! smiley

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@SimonM Nice save. smiley smiley

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@DontSpeak you gave me an idea!

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@torrac Go Carrot Go! Carrate the hell outta them brocco-lees!

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@torrac Hahahahaha I just laughed so hard at this. smiley smiley smiley

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@SimonM lol

I don't care what either of them smell like, I guess that makes me old but not spicy.

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@michael59 Well at least you still have your teddy bondage hobby LsmileyL

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@SimonM Jack Bruce.

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@CitizenD I love this one!! smiley

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@DontSpeak I love possums, they are adorable, despite their ugliness. smiley

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@CitizenD Possums are an imported pest here, killing native birds. There is a national program to kill possums, rats and stoats.

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@Buttless Yup, heard about that.

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@Buttless Isn’t Stoats a strange word ? It looks odd and sounds odder.

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@shabbapaul Stoat, imported to NZ from UK to kill rabbits, but preferred native birds. Now a major pest.

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@Buttless That's why non-native animals shouldn't be used that way. Hunting natural apex predators to extinction is a huge problem that cannot be reversed this way. Although, there have been "controlled" studies where it worked and the introduced species were kept in check and removed once they did their job.

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@DontSpeak We also have the Weasel in th uk which is much smaller but equally as voracious and vicious. I’ve heard they can slip through a wedding ring but can kill a fully grown rabbit.

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@shabbapaul It's native there [the UK]. They are hardly vicious. They are predators. I've seen stoat and weasel both here. They are tiny and elusive to humans in their native habitat, when they aren't being crowded out. They are just trying to survive when they hunt rabbits, mice and they like.

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@DontSpeak Many birds here, like the Kiwi, nest on the ground and introduced pests like rats, possums and stoats are wiping them out by killing eggs and young.

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@Buttless I know. Blame short sighted solutions not trained in natural biodiversity I'm sorry

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Not sure if everyone will get this?

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@PureVodka🍺 Why wouldn't someone understand that avocados have the "good" kind of fat?

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@DontSpeak It's not something you would learn in school. And they will be a lot of people that have never eaten a " full " avocado (maybe a bit in a fruit salad), like me up to 18 month back.

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@PureVodka🍺 The adverts for it being a good fat have been in mainstream media for over 10 years.

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@DontSpeak I must have missed those.
(being you have a big interest in health topics on this site)
How many of these fats are bad for you according to the MSM adverts?
www.carbmanager.com/article/xt6g...

How many commercials have you seen, that say replace " seed oils " with something else (if you can't use your OWN words " in your reply " and would rather post someone else's opinion, then please don't bother replying)?

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@PureVodka🍺 My own words: No. You're being childish.

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@DontSpeak 50+ years can take it's toll.

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@Bread&Circuses It's also probably all the steroids and lifting as well. There's no way that it all just shrinks nicely with no rebound.

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@CitizenD Noooo. Kitty! smiley

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@CitizenD Oh my god. smiley

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@SimonM That's only funny because it's true. smiley

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@michael59 That's why you fill the cat's food before you go to bed.

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@SimonM We had two cats in the youth home. Whenever the alarm clock rang, they started scratching at the door. Until my shoes flew.

When I got up, they would lament and run around my legs so that I had to be careful not to trip. So I chased them out of the front door to get some peace and quiet. Then I had coffee.

Bitches.

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@SimonM I love my kitties. They love me. That's all. Humans are MUCH worse about food. Cats are b**ches? Humans are ungrateful f**ktards. smiley

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@DontSpeak No argument about the humans. But...

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@CitizenD Nope. They are truer and more loyal.

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@DontSpeak And more delicious!

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@CitizenD I went meat free for years. No, not the modern, complaining, political vegans. No meat isn't sustainable for most humans, sorry to inform those who are deceived. It was a personal thing, and I did well, until I didn't do well. Sigh.

I still won't eat a cat. I know for a fact in any apocalypse, I'll die.

+2
 

@DontSpeak I went vegetarian for a year or two long time ago. I never felt better. Then I married a very controlling man. He insisted that I eat what he cooked. Now I love to return to that diet but now I really can't as I am diabetic and I have to consume a High protein low carb diet. I with you on the cat topic. No matter how expensive meat gets cat will never be part of my diet.

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@CitizenD Cat...the other white meat

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@DontSpeak Female dogs are b**ches, female cats are just cats as far as I know. You're right about the humans though smiley

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@SimonM Some men are b**ches and some women are bastards. Go figure? smiley

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This is just as funny as it was the first time I watched it years ago. I wish it was longer.



smiley

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@CitizenD That's really cute. I love it.

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@DontSpeak How's this for enlightenment is disillusionment? smiley

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@SimonM Bin bag man wants to wrap himself into your big rotting palm tree frawn? haha smiley

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@SimonM Thank you! smiley

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@DontSpeak Hilarious!!! smiley smiley

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smiley smiley smiley Send more Freud memes.

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expert
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@dubub A Visionary! no less, or should it be Visioneerie?

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The discomfort that existentialists crave.

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@CitizenD Added some splatters and stains so that you can better immerse yourself in the atmosphere.

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The panties @KavaLava craves, eh. smiley smiley smiley

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@CitizenD smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley

I have legging that are pleather. I shall donate to a worthy lava-tial need. So needy. Like all bigots. Whoops.

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@DontSpeak Does yours have the, er.... accessory?

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@DontSpeak smiley Brilliant

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@SimonM I don't know anything about her. Is she really that bad?

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@DontSpeak She's worse.

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Simons chauffeur

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@shabbapaul There's a reason he wrote that smiley

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@SimonM smiley Wicked.

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@DontSpeak Nice! smiley

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@shabbapaul Oh SNAP!!! smiley

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@SimonM Wow! The internet is full of, um ... wondrous things. smiley

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@CitizenD In this case, I wonder what she was thinking.. smiley

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@SimonM probably extra sprinkles on her ice cream cone

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@michael59 ...In this lesson you will learn which part of the adult human foot hurts most after there kids leave some of you out to be stood on...

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@DontSpeak smiley smiley what part of the chicken is that ?

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Too bad, summer's over. smiley

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Weather forecast: a storm is coming!

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@CitizenD Wahhahahaha strategic idiocy.

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Germans have the best postage stamps.

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Scientologist creep.

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@DontSpeak That's a lot more common than you think, I notice it a lot. And out of level eyes. smiley

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@SimonM He's disgusting in every way. Uber rich, yet won't see his own child because she's not a Scientologist. Gross. He's not human any-more.

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@DontSpeak I don't like him either, but he does make some great films.

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@SimonM Not for many years.

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@DontSpeak I'll know that after I watch the latest Top Gun film.

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@torrac Haha ewwwww. Poor Sally!!

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@PureVodka🍺 eek spicy smiley

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Christmas is coming soon! smiley

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@CitizenD It's September. smiley

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@SimonM Spoilsport smiley

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@Bread&Circuses Nice one smiley smiley

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@DontSpeak smiley easy money smiley

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Not sure if this is true, but it would give me a reasons to take a break from the stuff for a couple of weeks

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@max_black Why the long face?

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@Bread&Circuses Probably Trazadone smiley

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@max_black Pegasus told me to jump on!

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@SimonM smiley smiley just don't get caught sniffing them when you're done

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@max_black Wait.

What.

Sniffing?

Where?

This is where imagination and I part company.

Gratefully.

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@SimonM This is where kink-shaming serves a real purpose.

What a weirdo.

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@DontSpeak The pervy sniffing of seats is called Snedging, it's so popular it has a name. smiley

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@SimonM It has a name only because people are idiots that like to create patterns and trends to fill their dead souls with meaning.

I'm off to watch Ozzy Man. smiley

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@SimonM If I could be just one thing
the thing that I would like
is to be the saddle
upon a ladies bike.


This brings out the poet in me.

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@Buttless These days you need to be careful what you wish for..

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@SimonM Lady?

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@Buttless He thinks he is..

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@torrac hahahahahahahahhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!

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@SimonM No. Just no. My rights are being violated. smiley

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@DontSpeak Then my work here is done. smiley

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@SimonM My eyeballs are burnt because of this image smiley smiley

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expert

A bit of British culture , pics of pub signs around the UK:








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If you google search his name and click "I feel lucky" this is what you get...

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@michael59 So you're G00gling Chuck Norris and hoping to get lucky?

smiley smiley smiley

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@SimonM U wan frys wit dat?

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@dubub Yeah an tamato catch up please.

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@SimonM smiley smiley tis souper

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PHILOSOPHICAL PROGRESS

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@SimonM After seeing some of those disgusting videos, I believe there is a necessity for this. smiley

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@SimonM Anyone who has been to India will understand.

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@DontSpeak They looked very nervous before take off. smiley


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