DO YOU EVER GET BLAMED,for things you have no control over? (1096 views, 27 replies)
master
incidentally, i no longer care what people think of me,.either.so you can say any dam* thing you like.
@clarachan1355 First of all, I would like to reassure you that the situation isn't as tragic as you may have been led to believe.
Secondly, I have to tell you that I am a Lawyer, and although I cannot offer you any direct assistance for the simple fact that I am not licensed to practice in the US, I can certainly guide you on how to get the help you need.
Thirdly, I need you to clarify a few things, as I cannot get the full picture from what you have described in your post.
So please be so kind to answer the following questions:
1. What kind of Trust are you a beneficiary of?
a. Is it a Trust established by your parents which contains either funds and/or material or immaterial property and/or investments that yield financial income or profit, to which you are entitled a percentage?
b. Is it a Trust deriving out of Conservatorship status whereby a Trustee is appointed by a judge to manage the financial affairs and/or daily life of another due to physical or mental limitations, or old age?
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@clarachan1355 On the issue of your house cleaner. Please be so kind to clarify:
1. Her exact function or role:
a. Is she a cleaning lady (i.e. working on specific days for specific hours and her duties are to clean and/or cook);
b. Is she a house keeper (i.e. a person who will be working every day of the week for more than 12 hours and which will assist in all house chores including grocery shopping);
c. Is she a nurse/qualified care giver (i.e. a person that will assist you in any way, including providing medical assistance)?
2. Her contract of employment:
a. Is there a direct contract between you and her for services rendered?
b. Is her contract with a specialised company which you have subscribed to for services rendered?
Generally speaking, a person is owed money for services rendered. If for any reason those services are not rendered, there is no financial entitlement. ...
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@JudgeDredd thank you,Mandale,for the advice.we are trying to work it out by ''intervention''.a inter--mediary worker is helping me.She has a contract between us two..
@clarachan1355 ---and finding another trustee will be necessary,my sister is very ill,in a lot of pain,and is going to die by strokes,or (she says)"suicide first"cause she's in so much pain.Her medical condition's very bad.--her doctors don't give her hope they can do much.I feel very bad about it.--and its extra stress on her right now.--so i can understand why she's in bad moods.
@clarachan1355 That's really good to hear. Especially since the intermediary would have to record the potential inability of your sister to discharge her duties and may kick start the process for the appointment of a new trustee.
I did some research and found the most reputable non-profit legal organisations that specialise in Special Needs Trusts and their administration. There is a really good chance that the court will appoint one of these as trustee, in the absence of another family member taking on that role.
In any case, should you need direct specialised legal advice in relation to your rights under the Trust, you can always contact them directly. Otherwise, you can contact me for any question you may have and I can guide you to how you could proceed.
dralegal.org/
www.specialneedsalliance.org/
www.nsnn.com/
www.centersweb.com/
@clarachan1355 We are not surprised.
There is little Love left in this world.
We get blamed for everything.
We are the most "Responsible" Person We know.
We are "Responsible" for everything that has / is / will go / went wrong.
That's what "They" say.
Rest assured that ALL things are happening in step with the "Big Plan".
@clarachan1355 I am so very sorry anyone treated you that way much less family member. As for the house keeper I would call her boss and tell her the facts she is cruel and abusive. I hope you never give up. Someone out there can help you for the amount of money you have to pay. Get someone to put up flyers stating your need. You need love and kindness to help you heal.God be with you my friend.
@ Sounds that way to Us also.
We worked in a "Nursing Home" when we were in our early 20's.
Saw the "Horror" with our own eyes.
Took care of our Parents while they died; We did.
Just the way we was raised.
@UncleThanky Yes,i was told by former employee of nursing home,she saw abuse to a senior,told the state authority who was responsible,and she got FIRED WAS ALL THAT HAPPENED.
master
@clarachan1355
i really felt for you reading your story. And i know the basic sound behind it very well. When i worked as a lawyer i used to have a social rights department in my chancellery.
I had the legal guardianship to more than 45 persons, most of them elderly citizens and many trustees as well. In Germany the municipality you live in will provide you with an professional guardian caring for your stuff, organizing fostering etc.
If you are able to pay , you pay for it. If you cant afford it, the municipality will pay.
(So far to European "Socialism")
The thing is: most of clients were taken care off by their families FIRST. And in 80 % of it that went horribly wrong. As soon as family finds out "uhh, we have to pay for grandpa" financial restrictions (such as but not limited to)appear: reduction of necessary fostership. Finding you a MUCH cheaper home. Lets talk to Grandpa/Grandma in a commanding voice from now.
Here at least you can call your municipality and ask for a professional guardianship. Then a JUDGE will decide and mandate content and extent of the guardianship.
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expert
I'm so glad you fired her.
I wonder -- if the common K-12 education curriculum included a segment on civility and kindness -- if it were taught along with reading writing and arithmetic -- how that might effect our daily interactions and US society as a whole.
I wish you well.
master
I was told,that "few caregivers are available" but there are too many seniors that need them.because the housekeeper-care taker gets paid SO LOW THEY CAN'T GET GOOD ONES.so they only get the bottom of the barrel.--no one wants the job.they get people who can't do anything skilled.
But also,i have decided to USE"a housekeeper--helper" but not be FRIENDS AT ALL.NOR will i tell them a damn thing,--but never tell them anything,not let them use a debit card,got rid of it,am changing all my check acct.--and no longer keep money in the house.,---so i'll lie to them,and NEVER TELL THEM ANY FACTS ABOUT A SINGLE THING---don"'t trust them.---not trust them with anything!!!that was my mistake.you don't TELL ANY HOUSE-Keeper-a damn thing!!lie to them if You have to keep money secret.
@clarachan1355 These agencies that hire/employ people who clearly abuse elders need to be held accountable.
There is a lot most societies can learn from the Japanese, Chinese, etc. cultures which revere their elders. I'm not saying it's perfect, but I hear about this situation more and more and it sickens me.
Clearly we are all getting older and our health will eventually fail.
To be subjected to this harassment and abuse is without defense. It seems to me these agencies are not doing their job in providing quality care and instead subjecting elders to the dregs of society.
Elder Care is not for everyone, and should only be entrusted to those qualified, worthy and of extremely impeccable values regarding human life.
top expert
senior master
God
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master
RECENTLY I GOT BLAMED foe getting pneumonia
,going in the hospital,rehab, which cut my house-cleaners' wages--she was furious at me for going in the hospital!!cutting her wages!!I said,I offered to pay her cash for some of it--at least--which i did.Rather, she got in my house and TOOK the money.--then she was angry at me,she couldn't find enough there!!~i said that was all i had there.she BLAMED Me her for everything,FOR GETTING SICK,going in hospItal,cuz it cut all her wages.
i finaLLY fired her cause she said again--"No one cares about you--you have no one but me. i am the only one you have."--said very cruelly.I am very dependent on her--she knows that.but i could not take the verbal abuse from her,blaming me for getting sick!!--i had no control over it!!and the company cut her wages while i was in hospital,and rehab--i couldn't help it.
i tried to pay her that money.she got back at me, she phoned my sister,told her all this bad stuff,my sister now refuses to be my trustee--she blames me for getting sick,and talking back to the housekeeper-AND I HAVE BEEN A BAD PERSON AND A BURDEN TO MY SISTER ALL HER LIFE!!--because i got very bad off,had mental and nuerological problems.migraines--did not manage as well in life as she always did--got very very bad feet and legs and got rather physically disabled finally got a power chair..(i am 71`.)so she hates me for being "a burden"NO TRUSTEE NO MORE MONEY.--and no more housekeeper--the agency will dump me.BOTH HOUSEKEEPERS DUMPED ME(they are friends.)
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