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Funny pics with captions 9√a (n) X̄ ∭ x→a... which is ≥ 11 (3235 views, 328 replies)


master
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(3mo)
(edited)

Happy New Year 2Moober’z - All The Best To You And Yours!

+2
 

master
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(3mo)

Awww no Jimmy, not the corn smiley

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(edited)

@(⌐■_■) How did you know?

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@CitizenD smiley Rumors + a wyld-ass guess! smiley

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@CitizenD D you know more about such things than I do, but has the wrong end been inserted?

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@Buttless You would think so.

I could only use material that was available in the original picture. One end of the corncob was missing, so I did it this way. When it was finished, I thought it looked even better this way:-)

By the way, my first version of the picture had Heil Hitler in the speech bubble and a swastika tattooed on his ass. But JD deletes everything with swastikas.

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(3mo)

@CitizenD More playful smiley

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(edited)
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(3mo)

@CitizenD hey, that's us!

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@Buttless If one considers texture versus slide-ability… wouldn’t ya go with ‘’leafy rather than lumpy’’?
smiley

This is turning into a science experiment! smiley

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(3mo)

@(⌐■_■) You are right, this needs scientifically testing. smiley
We have corn growing in the garden, will be ripe in a couple of weeks and we usually pick some, cook it fresh and serve with butter. smiley
So for this experiment I have various sizes of corn, several types of grease, and measuring instruments but need volunteers and unfortunately we are all buttless so are ineligible.
Could you find volunteers?[SPOILER]

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(edited)

@Buttless DEARGAWD I'm happy to be unqualified as well.

smiley DONNNNNNNNNY
smiley Yuuu Huuuu?
* Hurry before Simon comes and steals the position / sorry, JOB?

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@(⌐■_■) Thank you. I think I will let this opportunity slide. smiley

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master
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master
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I’m too sexy for a LION 🎵
So sexy - nearly cryin’..🙌😆

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@(⌐■_■) cool markings smiley

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(3mo)

@🌞Suisen🌞 Artistic Black Sharpie would be my guess…
But, maybe it’s Maybelline? smiley

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@(⌐■_■) i was thinking photoshopped but you never know

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master
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master
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senior master
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master
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master
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(3mo)

Anyone got a recipe ?

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@(⌐■_■) Always clockwise *nodnod*

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master
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(3mo)

Tic Toc flavor or language experiment… you decide:

+2
 

senior master
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master
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(3mo)

+2
 

master
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(3mo)

Luminous Heart-shaped Warning Light...really??

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newbie
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(3mo)

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(3mo)

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master
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@(⌐■_■) tuna a fish i actually eat... smiley
not ashamed to eat tuna smiley

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master
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Not all heros wear capes.
Ned’s a floofy hero fo sho. 🤟🥰

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master
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💰 Maybe it’s time 2Moobz starts selling merch?


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@(⌐■_■) Lol!!!! Love that. The Mod version should say instead: "I see suspended people". The rest fits like a glove to the correction smiley smiley

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master
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@🌞Suisen🌞 LOL!!! Back in the Netherlands some 20 years ago, I was a member on adultfriendfinder. A woman once messaged me because she wanted to have a baby and wanted me to be the donor. Despite her very detailed accounts on her plan and some very enticing descriptions on how this baby should be conceived, my lawyer self took over and wanted some clarification on the parenthood liability waiver that she was proposing. Instead of replying to ease my concerns, she provided a very detailed description of something that was written in Dutch. I couldnt speak Dutch if my life depended on it, so I took the email to my secretary and asked her to translate it for me. My secretary looked at me with equal measure of disgust and disappointment and refused to provide a translation. After I explained to her the backstory of the email, she told me that the email contained a very explicit account of what that woman could do with her mouth. Then paused, she looked a bit startled while reading it again, then turned to me and said:
...
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master
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@🌞Suisen🌞 No kidding way more.

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master
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(2mo)

Anybody else getting goosebumps?

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master
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(edited)

When you know, you know.


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@(⌐■_■) Never gonna give you up
Never gonna let you down

-Rick Astley

Here's proof

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(edited)

@tangerinedream smiley ugh huh Rick Rolled, yet AGAIN. smiley

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@tangerinedream Oh they made some cr@ppy music in the 80s.

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master
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+3
 

master
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(2mo)

Im pretty sure they've been doing it wrong,
I dont remember this part....

+4
 

senior master
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+6
 

senior master
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+4
 

master
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(2mo)

where is this? i wanna visit, the guard looks friendly

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master
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(2mo)

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@(⌐■_■) And so it goes....

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@CitizenD Oh dear gawd Don… THE CORRRRN! RETURNED?!? smiley

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master
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(2mo)

Beware those wishes and promises- even with safe-corn.


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master
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master
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@🌞Suisen🌞 However, contrary to the scientific mainstream, the front pocket was created for XXX , where the femXle XXXX while XXXXXX his XXXX. That takes some artistic XXXXXX n XXXXXX, but leads to XXXXXXXX. Dont do that at home.

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@🌞Suisen🌞 Inclusiveness!
Designed for left-handers.

+2
 

master
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(edited)

Sometimes Don just pop up in my mind,,,
For some reason ,,,

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master
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(2mo)
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Ruh Roh! 👀 … not lookin’ good folks.




Eau Noez!! smiley

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@(⌐■_■) oh dear, Im missing out....smiley

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@🌞Suisen🌞 I know right!? Here’s all 7 deadly sins…
and I have a lot of catching up to do. smiley

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@(⌐■_■) Lust and gluttony are quite good, never thought much of the others.

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@Buttless I got busted by Greed and Sloth... Ruh Roh! 👀

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(2mo)

@Buttless Very well! smiley
Add sloth and wrath for me.

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@CitizenD wrath is hard work.
I will stick to lust and gluttony, with some sloth for my day off.

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@Buttless def Netflix sloth a bunch smiley

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@Buttless You're right. It can be exhausting at times. But it's also fun:)

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@CitizenD Ouch!

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@SimonM Is this how the Bed 'n Bath store went out of business? Guessing you might've been an avid customer that's really missing the place.

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@CitizenD WooHooo, hey: ''You rang...?'' smiley

*tagyerit

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@(⌐■_■) Watch out, the corn is on the loose:)

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@CitizenD *runs away screaming

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master
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(2mo)

I didnt know there was a book on the subject (i just made my own smiley)


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senior master
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master
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(edited)



Wait a daggum minute…it’s NOT?

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It's playtime folks. smiley smiley

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master
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(edited)



At least something went right..

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She looks like someone just ripped open a bag of Skittles.

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@Buttless Made a picture of Tucker wearing a noose, but hey.... that'd be against the rules. smiley

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@CitizenD Gotta watch those alien probes...

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master
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(2mo)
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These liittle blocks flew without rotors or wings. But dang they sure FLEW, fast and accurate! I know fo realz having been whacked a few times.

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@(⌐■_■) I'm sure it was part of teacher training, to smack kids right on the ear if their head was not facing front.
Ouch!

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@(⌐■_■) Mine was considerably heavier but at least it looked like a flying saucer smiley



It was hurled by a furious wife to her soon to be ex-husband in the waiting room of my office. He ducked......and I was right behind him. It landed on my forehead, knocking me out cold. smiley smiley

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master
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(2mo)
(edited)

FAIR WARNING
this starts out offensive, but its NOT
so get ya minds out of the gutter
(just picked up mine)

+2
 

senior guru
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(2mo)

+4
 

master
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(2mo)

yeah of course theres one with this name

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@🌞Suisen🌞 The fun you could have by having this place for business meetings....I can just imagine the outlook reminder smiley

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@JudgeDredd Wives pin $20 to hubby's shirt and pack him off to The MEETING... ''enjoy your wank darling, don't come home until someones arm falls off.''

(* not newlyweds, OBVIOUSLY)

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(2mo)

smiley Merde!!! Where's the CORN, when you need it?

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@CitizenD Reportedly,Jimmy was last seen…

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@(⌐■_■) Jimmy's new cuckoo clock. Reminds him when it's Corn o'clock. smiley

+5
 

master
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(2mo)

Am I seeing handcuffs and testicle-weights under the clock? Cute, nice touch. Let us not forget Corn-Thirty on the half hour for our most devoted citizens.

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@(⌐■_■) Our most devoted citizens? smiley
Can you provide a list with their names?

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@CitizenD Is first on our Top Ten List! ☝️🤔

+2
 

master
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(2mo)

Noo Jimmy went home to mum yesterday to show off his tattoo

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@🌞Suisen🌞
Mom didn't love him. That's why he joined the Nazi Party.

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(2mo)

@🌞Suisen🌞 smiley Good golly, leaving you two alone for five minutes is dangerous. smiley

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(2mo)

@(⌐■_■) Never trust a guy who collects buttplugs....

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(2mo)

@Buttless Hey, we're on the same side here. I have them to scare off right-wingers. They are sooo homophobic. smiley smiley

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@CitizenD Scares us liberals too!

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@Buttless Even the buttless?? smiley

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@Buttless If I hear ‘’gloves-snap’ smiley
I run away, screaming. * jic

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(1wk)

@Buttless (DAGGUM LIAR) smiley

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@(⌐■_■) smiley [SPOILER]

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(2mo)

@🌞Suisen🌞 After Jimmy visited his mother to show her his new bra, he invaded Poland to make the Führer proud. smiley smiley smiley

+6
 

master
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(2mo)

he's happier in his girdle smiley

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@SimonM haha someone actually suggested i put on nipple clamps yesterday

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@🌞Suisen🌞 you have some??

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(2mo)

@Buttless smiley on Jimmy smiley

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(2mo)

@🌞Suisen🌞 Ah, my imagination was running wild.

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(2mo)

@Buttless Here is a set of n-clamps and b-plug with pearls, as used by royalty.

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@Buttless Jimmy will love it, pearls go great with black lingerie

0
 
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@Buttless now there's a REACH AROUND I never thot about... and still won't

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@(⌐■_■) You could share that with someone special, or even a threesome!

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@Buttless The thot of jewlery for 'centipede night' kinda scares me. smiley

0
 

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master
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I saw Buttless sneaking out of Jimmys room,,,

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@🌞Suisen🌞 hey stop spying on me!

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@SimonM This thread has gone astray... and we be handin' out MAPS for the trip. smiley smiley

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@(⌐■_■) I don't think he needs a map.. smiley

0
 

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Jimmy is on his way to the Nazi headquarters to lend the Führer a hand. smiley

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@CitizenD good gawd, JIMMY got out of the corn patch
and he's headed to town for giggles.
🌽 RUNNNNN smiley

I don't think he meant: 'lend the Führer a hand'
I think he said: 'Furiously doin' a HANDY'

Wayyyy different just sayin' smiley
* right hand seems busy, and THAT side-eye *

+2
 

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@SimonM vegans don't actually live longer... it just feels like it.

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master
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@🌞Suisen🌞 Hey, we didnt write the rules of etiquette. We just follow them (to the letter) smiley

+1
 

master
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(1mo)
(edited)



oh if i even looked that good smiley

+2
 

master
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master
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(edited)

smiley



smiley

+2
 

senior master
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master
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master
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@🌞Suisen🌞 Moral of the story: be thankful for parole officer wisdom.

Perhaps one might stumble into editorial advise, who knows? Look what was learned from bananas. smiley

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@SimonM LOL!!!! The ultimate reply smiley smiley smiley smiley

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senior master
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One for all the Tucker Carlson fans...

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senior guru

master
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senior guru
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(1mo)
(edited)

Anyone miss Jimmy?

After he underwent a prostate exam, the doc gave him a strong laxative. He is feeling better now.

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@CitizenD His prostate is a little baggy, but otherwise fine.

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@Buttless Aaaaa HA!

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master
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@SimonM 🤭 *humpf*

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senior master
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Hell hath no fury....

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@Buttless There are worse fates than this....:



smiley

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@JudgeDredd Oh, ex-wives!
They take it so personally. smiley smiley smiley

+1
 

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(4wk)

Be careful who you swap jerseys with...

+2
 

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@CitizenD jimmys back

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@SimonM You try to drive with your pants like that . . .
Can't even sit down with the crotch up to your belly button. smiley

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@Bread&Circuses I don't think he was driving, look at the windscreen smiley

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@🌞Suisen🌞 penis envy!

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(2wk)

@Buttless no thats guys area,,,
always comparing sizes

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@🌞Suisen🌞 Also doubles as a compass. Doesnt point north though smiley

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@🌞Suisen🌞 watch out for them sweet old ladies smiley

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master
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@Buttless what i think about that

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@🌞Suisen🌞 you've been spying on us again smiley

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master
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+2
 

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@SimonM pfft, who doesnt want a happy bag??

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master
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master
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(edited)

OOOOOooh hey, I HAVE A RLY GOOD IDEA FOR THE ECLIPSE. 💭

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@(⌐■_■) The RAPTURE? smiley

Will this significantly reduce the population? There are too many people living here in Germany. When I walk the dog in the morning, I meet several of them. smiley smiley smiley

I need more space.

The rapture is coming! Trallallala. Fiderallallala.



"bloom in the splendor of this happiness,

bloom German fatherland"

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(2wk)

@CitizenD Didn't this used to belong to Druidude?



We should send it up with the others, (⌐■_■) can blow it up though smiley

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@SimonM Druid? smiley smiley smiley Yes, that belonged to him:)

We had so much fun with him.... until we all blocked him smiley

Found some memorabilia on my PC:




As far as I know, he was eaten by this guy smiley smiley

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@CitizenD Don't forget the virtual tinnitus, he was still b**ching and whining daily for a year after we blocked him. smiley

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@SimonM And the crystal butt-plug motivated him even more. smiley smiley smiley smiley smiley

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master
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Sweet fairytales....or

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@🌞Suisen🌞 Hey, you stole that from Simon. smiley

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@CitizenD Yeah, luckily she didn't steal my 36inch Fully HD TV as well!



Oops, wrong TV.. smiley smiley

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@SimonM that`s one of those moments where you think: really? leopard fabric patterns are back??

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@Adrian∞ ok. noone thinks that smiley

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(2wk)

@CitizenD That face needs a pipe smiley

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(2wk)
+1
 
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(2wk)
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@SimonM Not today. I'm still breathless from the week before last.

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(2wk)
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(2wk)

@🌞Suisen🌞 Perfect smiley smiley

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master
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(2wk)

Weather forcast warning in Scotland,
Im pretty sure yellow snow doesnt come from above

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senior guru
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(2wk)


Sorry folks.

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(2wk)

@CitizenD smiley I know YOU ripped off the missing part!! You deprive us basically the sense of life! You probably sat there on ur sofa chewing the third morning Snickers and DANG u were enlightned!
I imagine a sugar induced epiphany.
missed ya

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(2wk)

@Adrian∞ Sorry, I'm not enlightened... more like enraged. And there were no snickers and NO DANG smiley
Missed you too. smiley

+1
 

master
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(2wk)

🚩Not political… 100% legal! 💩 smiley

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(2wk)

@(⌐■_■) smiley smiley smiley smiley
soooo ...plausible.. smiley smiley

+2
 

senior guru
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(2wk)

+3
 
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(2wk)

@CitizenD oh no jimmie

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(2wk)

@🌞Suisen🌞 J I M M Y... eau nooooooo!!!

^Jimmy ran off to a Ditty-Diddle-Party - all that came back was this bag of corn?!? smiley

FOOKIN HYENA"S. ALL OF 'EM!

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(2wk)

@(⌐■_■) Don't be sad, I can make you a new one. smiley

+2
 
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(2wk)

@🌞Suisen🌞 Aww, you brought flowers. That's so nice of you. smiley

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(2wk)

@CitizenD Flowers? It's a bouquet if corn 😋

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(2wk)

@🌞Suisen🌞 Even better. He'd be very touched:)

+2
 

senior guru
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(2wk)

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(2wk)
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@CitizenD Is that the birthday meme we heard about?
Dang, that’s Harsh… FaLaLaaa up yo berfey b**ch.

+1
 

master
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(2wk)

Drone-Style Cow Tipping.
YW👍

+3
 

senior master
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(1wk)

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(1wk)

@Buttless smiley smiley soo im kinda smart?

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(1wk)
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@Buttless i’ve heard: ‘’Cognitive Fecal Therapy’’ helps dumbasses learn new💩.
True that … 👀💭


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(1wk)
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senior guru
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(1wk)

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(1wk)

@SimonM But but I ordered delivery with DHL 😔

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(1wk)
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@🌞Suisen🌞 This is a DHL delivery: ‘Da Hole Load’

*I’ll let myself out. smiley

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(1wk)

@SimonM smiley Jesus, how many dildos fit in there?

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(1wk)

@tangerinedream Depends on the sizes.. smiley

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(1wk)

@SimonM Of course it does. But imagine these quantities. Millions of dildos, they all end up in the ocean afterwards.

People could use cucumbers or corn cobs and make salad out of them afterwards.

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(1wk)

@tangerinedream Good idea, budget dildos and dinner.

The real ones make great chew toys for pets too.

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(1wk)

@SimonM Imagine... there are actual sex toys for dogs. smiley

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(1wk)

@tangerinedream Dogs really aren't that needy, they'll take anything they can get smiley

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(1wk)

@SimonM Not sure who’s doing what to whom…
But the cat is gonna blackmail all three. ☝️👀

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(1wk)

@SimonM The pooch look traumatizedsmiley

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(1wk)

@tangerinedream I will never eat salad in your house. smiley

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(1wk)

@Buttless Bourgeois!

What about sustainability? smiley

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(1wk)
(edited)

@tangerinedream Who throws dildos in the OCEAN?!

* whutderfuk am i reading smiley

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(1wk)
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@(⌐■_■) Never heard of the Great Pacific Dildo Patch?

Stop trashing our oceans... all you... ehm.. randy dildo lickers( whutderfuk). smiley

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(1wk)

@tangerinedream They get recycled smiley

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(1wk)
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@SimonM I dunn even know whut to say... is it a stunning revelation undoubtedly. smiley Or, is it doubtful? smiley That sure looks like a new breed of Dildapelican or a Doc Johnson seagull?

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(1wk)
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