🚀 LittleSubj 🚀 the September issue is here! (1985 views, 233 replies)
senior guru
But before you start, read the following rules kindly provided by our moderator.
You may bend the rules but do not break them.
senior guru
senior guru
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@SimonM This is the Greek version. To give you an understanding, the woman judge is the very definition of a classical arts education. From the remaining two judges, the one sitting at the end is a big time music manager who happens to be very gay and the other guy is just a laugh riot. Clearly, she felt that it was time or them to be educated in the beauty of classical piano........how wrong she was. Her facial expressions are to die for 
senior guru
@CitizenD 
Bounce me, bouncy me!
Bounce me, bouncy me!
Hih!
Up n' down n' in n' out, let's
make ourselves go round n' round!
Smiling faces, brand new places
I can hardly touch the ground!
Everybody bounce with me
Anyone can reach the clouds!
Everybody bounce with me let's
make ourselves get out of bounds!
I got me a bouncy feeling,
Don't throw me to the wall and
turn me [in]to a modern painting
I got me a bouncy feeling,
I'm jumping to the ceiling, ceiling, ceiling!
Up n' down n' in n' out let's
make ourselves go round n' round!
Sun is shining, keep on jumping,
happy people all around!
Some may say I look just like an
Fat 'n' bouncy ping pong ball!
You can call me what you want
Just don't throw me to the wall!
...
Read more
@DontSpeak Finally you found my clickbait;) It's for children, isn't it?
I found it weirdly entertaining. 
senior guru
senior guru
Wildlife photographer of the year 2022 – highly commended pictures
Highly commended images from the wildlife photographer of the year contest. Winners will be announced on 11 October and an exhibition of the 100 award-winning shots will open at the Natural History Museum on 14 October.
www.theguardian.com/environment/...
senior guru
senior guru
@DontSpeak You're not the first to say that, or words to that effect. He's definitely my favourite YT channel too! 
top expert
Ok...lets start slow. This is the example of the most patient and understanding father in the history of fatherhood:
Take notes....there will be an exam later on
senior master
Ah, this is the quote I was looking for.
I always wondered about flautists since that movie.
senior master
I proudly present: Finnish Heavy Metal -- aimed at children but NOT just for children!
Santa's sleigh's been loaded with wishes
With wacky wonderful wrappings
And Rudolph the hairy sprinter
the whole reindeer gang is ready to roll
There goes Santa up to the sky
They should soon arrive in Ostrobothnia
He roams countries and continents
all sorts of Tamperes
The party starts now
(Elf-- elf -- elf-- elf metal)
When Santa is gone the elves party on
(Elf-- elf-- elf-- elf metal)
When the stereos shout no reason to pout
(Elf-- elf-- elf-- elf metal)
Christmas Eve is a heavy time
until the day comes to an end
And the elf circle is outrageous
Has the Korvatunturi gone completely mad
Christmas spruce turned upside down
It's a party most secret
Even the lantern has been thrown to the snow blanket
Mrs. Claus rushes from the cottage to have a look
"What on Earth is this ruckus?"
...
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senior master
@DontSpeak Of course, frozen d1cks to suit your climate. Come in packets of 3 for a long weekend.
Anything else you need?
senior guru
This is what happens when the sniveling, no-life malcontent weaklings that can't get laid are given a platform to voice their worthless opinions.
Katelyn Ohashi: How Body Shaming Drove World's Best Gymnast To Quit.
@SimonM WHAT is this horse sh1t?? 
She's amazing! As a woman, I can tell you that the pressure to look and act a certain way is astronomical. Getting thrust into a competitive world of any kind, is even worse. Just look at social media and all the FAKE filter lenses, super-volumised lips, breasts etc. It's gross. I love her. I was watching those OM vids just yesterday (thanks, Simon for tipping me off on this YT person). The combination of OM's narration and her effervescence really connected to me. I'm pretty certain men have a similar thing to contend with these days. It's awful the obsession with a predetermined physical appearance that mean FUCK all to talent and spirit and drive.
Thanks for this powerful notation, too, Simon!
(I'm certain Don will award you a golden butt plug for it. 
)
@DontSpeak That was only a couple of years ago that she gave up gymnastics. Now those same arseholes are using the "body positive" BS to have attack people when they want to lose weight.
Don awarded me a few golden buttlugs in Anysubj.
senior guru
Nigeria seizes donkey penises to be smuggled to Hong Kong
ABUJA, Nigeria (AP) — Nigerian officials have seized thousands of donkey penises that were about to be exported to Hong Kong, an official said on Thursday.
Sacks of the donkey male genitals were seized at the international airport in Lagos, Nigeria’s largest city, Sambo Dangaladima, the Nigeria Customs Service area commander, told reporters.
apnews.com/article/oddities-hong...
you cannot post this infront of men!!!
@DontSpeak But YES !! NOT visible, at least.
i cant stop looking at the donks penis, not because of the size, but that sick looking...double pointed end...its like a siamese twin penis
YAK! 
master
THE EMPIRE DIED TODAY
The Queen is dead. And let`s be honest: there is no heir to the throne. Well, there is the annoying "Charles" who will forever be Prince Charles, the tampon.
I have always admired the ole EMPIRE and its style - and i am GERMAN.
Even as a buttplug anarchist, an arch liberal and an international criminal: I loved her.
She was unique. She represented a time and a system that has everything worth living for:
@Adrian∞ Insults (like this one) would never be used like swear words, which are more about emotion than an insult.
Essentially that one means: To be confused/stupid; not know anything about a topic that's being discussed.
Personally, I feel it fits Charles. Pompous is an understatement.
@Adrian∞ I worry about King Charles, the name dooms him.
We executed Charles 1 after the civil war in 1640's, then decided a government like a protestant Taleban was worse and brought back his son Charles 2 who turned out to be a total failure. And this poor boy is doomed to be Charles 3.
master
Such as, but not limited to:
THE SUNDOWNER
When tea time is over and the slaves get tired, a sundowner is the best early opportunity to get drunk in your colony. Best served by locals dressed like undertakers in tropical heat.
Dont fool around: Its a Gin Tonic and nothing else.
master
THE STIFF UPPER LIP
Unfortunately completely forgotten by all of the Queen`s offspring. Especially Prince Harry , that total wimp. Noone EVER brought the principle of the stiff upper lip better on celluloid than Monty PYthon in this sketch:
master
THE RAFFLES, SINGAPORE (or other classic old colonial style hotels)
In a fast changing world of shabby-chic boutique hotels, large-scale corporate giants, world-wide luxury chains and heritage home-stays, there remains a rare breed: the colonial-era Hotel.
And the Raffles , Singapore is the QUEEN of all hotels - in the world.
You cannot just book a room in the Raffles...there are none. Only suites.
It is the birthplace of the Singapore Sling, a true story involving a barkeeper and an escaped Tiger.
...
Read more
master
And here is one of the best examples why the Queen cannot be replaced:
When a former US-"president" visited England, he stepped in the way of the Queen during an inspection of the parade.
Even i sat at home in front of the TV and jumped up: "This means war!" (and with me: half the kingdom)
But Queen Elizabeth kept a straight face and saved the world from - ah well you know who. Just with style.
R.I.P., my Queen
senior master
senior master
@DontSpeak OK, I'll spare you with explanations. I'm going away for a few days. You two have fun. 
Without me. 
senior master
@DontSpeak 'Living in fear of your wife's strange desires can be a terrible thing'
Very true. But "a mans gotta do what a mans gotta do" as John Wayne said.
So stand up and do your duty!
senior master
@DontSpeak What does an Irish woman do with her ass-hole every morning?
Packs up his lunch and sends him to work.
(with apologies to Irish women and their ass-holes).
senior guru
@SimonM I am CERTAIN this name is again, after an animal. All these examples are where research into origin is invaluable in the preservation of landmarks. Inclusive means preservation of landmarks that have their origin in something that does no harm to anyone (or even if it is Historical and represents a time that WAS in fact horrific, that we do not strive to change it. We preserve it to learn from it!).
@DontSpeak I agree, but you know what the whiny weakling SJW's are like, any excuse to get offended about something on behalf of someone who doesn't need them.
@StarKissed Meow.
Actually it really is a DOG it's named after.
I feel overburdened to express how common sense and research should be implemented in discerning significance.
I'm not referring to you, StarKissed.
@DontSpeak That's ok, I was trying to be a Smart A** anyway. lol I was guessing the word "black" was the actual problem?
How cool, they allow your dogs to come in with you!
@StarKissed No worries.
I am really so speechless overall. I can't even express myself anymore.
This site has actually made me want to log off the Internet forever. AND I don't do social media plus I'm a writer.
I'm sick with confusion and disgust.
@DontSpeak Some days will do that. It will be better tomorrow. Glad to meet you, I'm a wanna-be writer, who can't decide what to write about, but one day I'm going to do it, by golly! lol
@SimonM 2nd sentence of that immediately contradicts the 1st. meh i expect nothing less from ladbible tbh.
@Stickmanuk Sorry, I generally appreciate your posts... the word "ladbible " is not in fact a known word.
Would you please define what you are talking about?
Also, Simon is quite the humorist. I would never attack him. He is a very good person with a lot of compassion for the world.
@DontSpeak its a website, a lot of the random posts you come across on the old interwebs come from there.
@Stickmanuk What now? Old interwebs?
I'm not being disrespectful. I actually don't understand.
senior guru
top expert
Breaking News
This wrecked semi spilled a load of dildos and lube all over I-40!
The reporter starts by saying "this semi overturned and lost its load..." 
senior guru
@SimonM This one is really good. I just got it as you were posting it. I hope he's making a lot of money for doing this. He's a credit to spreading smiles and laughter, which can be in really short supply! Yay Ozzy Man!
LOL "Why was he tampering with his penis as he stacked it??"
senior master
senior guru
senior master
Amazon special!
"Humping Animals", "Fuck Off", "The Big Adventures of Tiny Dick" Colouring Books!
www.amazon.com/-/es/John-T/dp/17...
@DontSpeak Great!
Except on the same page, I found this
www.amazon.com/-/es/Gags-Giggles...
@SimonM NOOOOO!!!
What's wrong with you today, party pooper? Then I want this um... hombre masturbador. 
www.amazon.com/Kocome-Stoertuy-J...
@DontSpeak
I don't know either, the description says: "Wow, here comes Barry and his immense talents". 
senior guru
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senior master
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senior master
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King Charles' first week on the job was quite successful. Thanks ever so much for resurrecting that!
senior guru
@SimonM OMG...She gave me an uncontrollable urge to: a) eat till I pass out; b) watch Fat Frankenstein; c) watch a zombie 100 meter dash; d) Headbutt her and enjoy some peace and quiet.
The only good thing going for her is her boobs. But even there you need industrial grade earplugs to enjoy that scenery.
senior guru
top expert
Oh man. We need a new thread. This one takes forever to load. Doooooooooon.....Do your magic
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senior guru
Folks, here's the September issue of LittleSubj, the successor to @nysubj, Dr Evil's other site that no longer exists. I'm your host Don - post what your heart desires and have fun.