"Ban the person above you" -- It's a GAME! -- PART TWO (3413 views, 490 replies)
Banned for thinking I am awake at this ungodly hour - I must be sleeptyping again and dreaming of Chinese boxes! zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Banned for immediately wiping the fog off your mirror after a shower because you're afraid the ghosties are going to write, "You're dead" on it.
Banned for imagining me in the shower this morning and inventing stuff about ghosts writing on my mirror, while I was in fact in my bed, dreaming of those Chinese walls that they are always talking about on Suits
Banned for not taking your "repetitive banning syndrome" medication and probably eating those poor silk worms you got that silk from. bad birdie.
Banned because I was petting my cat in the dark, giving her a good chin scratch and I was thinking, 'Why is her fur so rough' when I realized I was scratching her butthole and she was letting me.
I take it you are banning yourself for practising ...(what do you call that when it's with a cat?) Well I would have to agree with you and suggest a sturdy pair of night vision goggles that I believe are on special offer as the Hondurans will be invading any day now.
@---BOX--- Even though it was my mishap, I was banning you for it. That's how I roll. Soon I'll be rolling with night vision goggles so thanks for that.
@delamitri So it's blame the new guy. Ther e must be an -ism for that somewhere. I know - newbieism; that act of discriminating against the new kid in town and throw all the sh*t in his direction.
Where are the lawyers when you need one?
@---BOX--- You could spend all your money on a lawyer, OR you could recruit an unsuspecting new person to throw in the newbieism spot.
@delamitri I am surrounded by masters, senior masters and Jodi "Do. Or do not. There is no try."
What is a boy to do?
Banned for not having a scandalous fetish for me to pick on you about in order to satiate my inner bully.
Banned for not discovering my secret fetish Asian feet massages with coconut oils brushed with the tips of the blond hair of nubile thirtysomething native ladies from the mountains of the Chiang Mai provence in the North of Thailand.
@---BOX--- Who is going to believe me when I go shouting this from the rooftops? They'll put me in restraints. I need real dirt!
Banned for oversimplifying the process of copulating and suggesting that my fetish is ancient. I'll have you know that in my day, copulating among the Irish youth was a miracle in itself and considered a high risk business due to the illegality of contraceptives.
Banned for using National Enquirer tactics to grope around in my dirt and dig up some skeletons in my closet. I am as clean as a a new pin in the pinhole of a politician on election day. Still haven't forgotten about the newbieism and NO I am not an elephant.
Banned for again throwing all the blame on the new kid. Newbieism is rife among the ladies on this thread. The D's and R's are sinking to new levels of gross injustice and there WILL be consequences when I do take over ... What was i taking over again?
@---BOX--- You were about to take over nappy duty for the incontinent people. Oh and we sure do appreciate it.
@delamitri I would be terrible at that. No, don't want to go there. Don't want to think about that please. You should write horror - putting nightmares into poeple's heads. Stephen King wouldn't have a look in.
@---BOX--- Nappy duty, for adults only. Many of these nappies are saggy and weigh a stone...
Wear protective eye-wear and the appropriate face mask with filter....
@---BOX--- Yes, RB has spoken of the proper tools you will need and so sorry, there can be no shirking of your doodies.
@delamitri Doodies, doodles, piddles, poo, tootsie rolls, wee... you will have them all Mr. Box.
Banned the both of ye for taking rapturous pleasure in the sufferings of what many hospital workers have to put up with on a daily basis (especially RB) and also for the whiff of revenge I am smelling off these nappies I am elbows in at the moment for calling out the "bad birdie" while she enjoyed the dessert of silkworm ice cream and honey. And for D who doesn't know her doodies from her poopies.
Banned, but it's a hardship ban, the kind where you can still get your chores done, because I don't want you under any added pressure now. I'll just be over here in my pooh pooh class, studying up on a few things.
@delamitri Probably swallowing another dictionary on Nordic snowploughs and the tracks they leave. Howw many words do they have for those?
@---BOX--- lolololololol
Go on, laugh it up! You're not the first, and you won't be the last.
Mr. nappy doodle man. haha
:)
@---BOX--- LOL nice analogy! "Creative analogies to gain sympathies"... I wonder if there's a market for it?? :)
Banned for leaving poor Cinderfella (yours truely) to clean up your doodle drippings and recycling your big girl pampers while you plan to go to the spa to dirty it up and leaving your mess to some poor spa person - which in non PC language could be considered [SPOILER]
Banned for recycling those!!! We require brand new nappies every time. What if the other spa patrons saw us in recyclables? Oh, the shame.
Banned for missing out on all the Nobel Prize nominated bantering since you left to listen to all that other crap, because we had a few accidents with a similar substance here, but it is all sorted out now thanks to those lovely NEW big girls´ Pampers. With lots more pockets for the mobile and purse and keys. And they're disposible, just like the razors for when the waxing doesn't do the necessities in those hard to get areas. What unbridled joy!
They should invent an emoji for such occasions.
Banned because I'm getting the feeling you enjoy happy duty and now we must find other means of torture. But you can still do nappies while you're banned. I made a note of this with the pen and paper in one of those convenient side pockets for RB when she wakes up.
@delamitri Head is exploding with trying to explain something so simple but they want to make it so complicated because they don't want to see the wolf in sheep's clothing or they are very happy with the disguise. Me finished and going back to happy duty where you know what you are dealing with. Ciao
Banned for openingly admitting to a system of torture in play here. Banned for not having a pocket for walkman with nice headphones and cassette tapes.
Banned for using my favourite 80's band's name in vain -
OOPS! you said poo not youth - sorry - Ban me! but I'm dancing "Pass the dutchie ...
Banned because I accepted this challenge and then instantly regretted it when I found one. 😖
Banned for not using the original promo video which tells the story much better. Tut, tut
@---BOX--- Hahaha it was like 2 minutes longer and I couldn't take it. I even tried to find a clip of just the pooh pooh part and save my ears even further.
Banned for overuse of totally Benny Hill humour and shirking your responsibilities. [SPOILER]
Ban hop!!! I'm jumping over the pretty birdie to get at Crutch! Banned for staying away from this thread for like half a week!
@---BOX--- That's alright, they can all hammer me tomorrow. In the meantime, I'll just be over here making cheap shots.
Banned for not acknowledging the immense Celtic powers bestowed on Irish ravens aka the Shee Warriors of Fionn MacCool and his dog Setanta. Well known for changing into ravenish coleens at first light and sought after by the Celtic warriors. Thus "the early Boy catches the early Bird" refrain in many parts of the country. Complete fluency in all dialects of floral language is a well known gift bestowed on them by Cullain, Lord of the Fairies.
Banned for the full moon until I get to see what you turn into in case you got bitten in the last month.
@delamitri The opposite sex have their own troubles (what to eat? what to drink? where to watch the football?... important stuff)
@---BOX--- There, there, I know it's rough for ya'll. I promise when the PMS strain for men that I've been working on is complete, I'll give you a pass.
Banned for...I can't do it. I can't ban a bud at a time like this. That's not how I roll.
Banned for not having enough testosterone and for having too much empathy to a fellow PMS victim.
Banned for measuring the level of testosterone in my nuts without a proper degree in the medical field. Or should I be calling you Dr. Box?
Banned for wanting to move to the cold, damp south coast of Blighty for the mushy peas and changing your accent to received English.
@---BOX--- Yeah, somewhere I can work on my ya'lls and hollers, start speakin proper like.
@delamitri For proper English you would need to head to the land of Hiberno English where you will have the "craic" with the "Culchies" or "Jackeens", so you will.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hiberno-En...
Banned for putting an herbal facemask on your bikini bottom. But if you have a good enough reason, I might do it too.
@delamitri No takers at five dollars -going, going and .....
Juuuuust got and offer on the phone who wishes to remain anonymous, but reliable sources at FOX News suggest that BANKSY the street artist would be willing for you to turn his bikini bottom into art. Well, Well, Well.
Sources close to the millionaire underground hero suggest thst whatever you do, He'll put it on show at the prestigious BANKSY school of wanna be artists
Banned for peeking and learning that I am hairless and for not noticing my custom made cork in the meantime.
Banned for spending an exorbitant amounts of money on waxing strips and showing no signs of pain when uncorking and decantering.
Banned so you don't try to flush that loo either!! I imagined a tidal sh*t wave coming out of the stall.
Banned for blowing your horn about multi-tasking and thinking you're special cos you've got a body and it's dead. I have a couple around here in the freezer that I bought in the butcher's yesterday.
Banned because I have not received my invitation to this rumored dinner party. I would have brought a side dish too. Their right side, actually.
Banned for revealing your cannibalistic nature and not revealing the country of origen nor name of your side dish. Only good manners to indicate this information, otherwise what wine should be served? And a passport number too please - you can never be too careful.
Banned for attempting to use this little ruse to steal my identity. You haven't even dyed your hair pink yet.
@delamitri Not your passport, body passport for proof of country of origin ie., American beef, Canadian Moose, Mexican chicken, Irish lamb etc, etc
it's on account of Brexit. If you could manage a British one from your iffy friends then the side dish won't be a problem and RB's could get sorted as well if she can come up with a Irish Holy Virgin Passport too. Preferably on the nunny side that hasn't been out of the covent and looks a bit like me.
@---BOX--- Darn, my side dish was the actual sides of my iffy friends. Alas, I know of no one else who acquires such things. Yeah, RB can probably find a nun in a tutu somewhere.
@delamitri Don't forget the hair - most important REPEAT hair most important again. CARROT TOP s'il vous plait
@delamitri Mais oui - if it looks like the picture and the passport. We have the photoshop expert flying in from Moscow this morning. Costs and arm and a leg so make sure you come along with the side disk of the IFFIES.
Banned for thinking a film titles "DIE HARD" with Bruce Willis fighting off some dodgy foreigners in a million storey building at Christmas could have anything remotely to do with the porn industry. A new one is planned for post-Brexit should we ever get that far. Not unless this is one of your SNUFF movies for the Essex market where the sex is a bit more dangerous? Then you may have the odd customer dying HARD.
Banned for revealing your true identity behind the spoiler in code which in fact means
[SPOILER]
Banned for critiquing without a license or degree except for the one you got in box cutting which does not apply here.
@delamitri Banned for boxing clever in defence of your friendly neighbourhood flying friend BUT lack of evidence has weakened you case to the point of wobbly knees weakness.
@---BOX--- You have mistaken my wobbly knees for weakness, but that is actually my signature dance move.
Banned for not waxing on and waxing off for long enough to reach your full mogwai potential.
Banned for knowing too much about my waxing sessions (including Brazilian) in order to reach my true metrosexual potential. Shame on you - I am trying my best!
OOPS!
This is for the previous banner.
Banned for using pseudo-complimentary tactics on my "operator" skills and bringing images of Sade back from the 80's, where they remained firmly buried until now.
[SPOILER]
@---BOX--- Okay, other proof. I'm almost certain I'll die if I watch more than a few seconds.
@delamitri Part of the punishment for all that double dealing on the Q. T. in the OPPOSITE WORD game. Remember - the guy in the shades on the left of the eejit (aka Alan Winterbottom - brother of Michael)
Banned for putting up with these confused females and for trying to indicate a better road to travel on by leaving those puddy cats at home. You are a better man for it.
Banned for making a mess and for not completing the sentence passed for double dealing on the Q. T. in the OPPOSITE WORD game and not spotting the box in the work of art. What do I gesture to Sade at the end?
Banned because you type faster and think faster to where I've got spun around and if I was wearing one of those drapes, it would look like an umbrella now.
Banned and barred from the Private Investigators Forum on Powers of Observation (Tom Selleck a previous winner) for not connecting "a cruise around the Great Lakes for five years (during the winter months only)", "Winterbottom" (from the video) and lastly "Algor" (from opposites). Hand in your badge and firearm at the door. And do the walk of shame while you're at it.
I am on a self-imposed banning exile for exceeding my quota of banning orders for this week.
@ Banned for taking this "A Crutch too far" and interrupting his train of thought which was in the high speed night express to Edinburgh ... Stopping at Manchester to let the United louts on for a quickie before chucking them off in Bolton.
PS I hadn't seen the one below and I have no idea why this is a reply- definitely too much banning - time ou needed
Banned for a deed that was so dastardly that I can't bear to speak of it except for in the telegram I sent out, but really, who reads those anymore?
Banned for so gleefully exposing my snickering self. I thought dying my fur pink and trading in my flying machine for a broom was going to keep me hidden forever.
Banned for pleading guilty and rolling over (again my suspicions of impersonating Muttley) without a fight or even a plea bargain (in this case it could well be a flea bargain given the circumstances?). I suggest you consult with the best in the land and put forward justifications for such scurrilous accusations from a man who is always calling for "Two pints of larger and a packet of chrisps, please". S.O.M. IS SAVE OUR MUTTLEY.
Banned for misinterpreting my roll over and allowing your suspicions and paranoia to get the better of you. I simply dropped my lipstick and was rolling over the arm of the chair to retrieve it.
Banned the both of ye for believing all that malarkey about dropping lipstick and rolling over arm of chair. Seeing is believing and there is bugger all evidence of any such incident taking place. I however have in my possession very sensitive footage of a canine meeting the description of a certain Muttley the mutt (aka sidekick to Dick Dastardly and sadly aka Delamitri) doing unsightly things against the leg of an armchair and applying lipstick at the same time! Wearing a pink French Poodle wig and a tube top stolen from Penelope Pitstop back in the 80s, the crossdressing dog was last seen roaming the streets looking for some easy prey. So watch out PV and TM - you have been warned of the danger. Spread the word like dog poo spreads around your house carpet.
Banned for being politically correct while at the same time being incorrect politically.
@v(-_-]v It means that I'm playing the game... it was not directed at you in any way shape or form.
The thread should be renamed "Ban EVERYONE before you..." because that's really what it has evolved into, and we all go into silly land doing it.
I was off the site all last night, although my profile says I'm here, it's merely because I forget to log off, hence the delay in replying.
Unbanned for banning Mrs Chuckles who always manages to squeeze a reaction from all and sundry.
Banned because you believe you're onto something with ol' Dick, but with a few privileges since you gave the birdie a break.
Banned for being bored and not knowing that "the cure for boredom is curiosity. There is however no cure for curiosity". Ellen Parr
@ I had always heard another version of this saying from my mum.
"Curiosity killed the cat, information made him fat"
I had never thought about it before ... you can't get fat if you're dead.
And I must have heard this thousands of times - it was her way to say "mind your own business"
Banned for telling a huge whopper or using hallucinogens and not sharing, as everyone knows that birds don't talk.
Banned for blatent talking birdism - I have met a few talking birds in my day (and not only the pretty polly types either).
Banned for being so endearing and sweet that you make the rest of us look like grumpy buttholes while you could pass as a cute little puppy. 🐶
Banned for trying to bullsh*t a bullsh*tter and making a creating a virtual reality world where Elvis and Michael Jackson and Fidel Castro are partying with Amy Winehouse in my backyard too.
Banned for being delusional and impersonating the great and powerful Oz because I have looked behind the curtain and Oz looks nothing like a birdy. In fact he looks a lot like ... I am too modest to say.
Banned because I'm certain you doubt the wrong guy. Crutch is a sweet, precious, good natured, fluffy kitten. I on the other hand, just love stray electronics that I "find" lying around.
Banned for handling stolen property and not reading the instructions for the interstellar transportation device that were clearly stuck on the back. Ravens!!
Banned for suggesting .... come to think of it, it really is a pretty good picture of me. A couple years ago of course but the entrails are clearly photoshopped so that is worth a ban for contributing to the fake news explosion.
@---BOX--- Those are not intestinal entrails... oh far from it. That's actually the ovaries and eggs of a pig. (BARF)
Unbanned because I know the pig farmer and there is no such thing as bad publicity in his game.
Banned because I'm out of practice and need to use you as a wedge to step up my game again.
@delamitri Thank God!! Those 23 hours were very long - I thought the pig farming community were insulted and called in sanctions.
Banned for always volunteering yourself on wedgie training day. People are talking and I've even heard the F[SPOILER] word a few times.
Banned for suggesting I would, nay could, seek pleasure from these things you practice with others of your ilk. I don't come from the land of Wedgies and thus do not know the technicalities other than it must be agony while wearing the common thong or tanga in my world of female lencería. Freaks are the characters that populate the films of Tim Burton and have more humanity than the "humans". Long live the Freaks and the Freakies and the Frogs for that matter. Freaks Against Wedgie Givers (aka FAWGs) shall be the new battle cry in High Schools across America.
Banned for flying towards women that reveal bum cracks and apparently can't afford underwear as they spent everything on the dress.
@delamitri I know - it's that noticeable? The kids are beginning to ask questions. At least I know what to get her for Christmas...
Banned but I squeezed you in through the opposite period time warp window so really you're unbanned. 😁
Banned for being tempted to have a nibble of the little worm and its hole. It is a Friday chaos thing
Banned for not observing Worm Wednesday, Thornbird Thursday and Sinner's Saturday. And on the seventh day, ...
Banned for spying on me. I saw you with your binoculars and I know it was you because my binoculars are extra high power top quality!
Banned for being the sexiest viking and not even telling your old pal about it. I had to learn by mucking about in gossip.
Banned for not giving an alibi for your whereabouts during said pillow fight and why did you not try to stop them from fighting? Definite lack of pillow empathy
Banned for not reading RB her rights. Any questioning you did is inadmissible and I'll be taking my client out of here. We'll leave the pillow so you can console it.
@ What we really want is the lowdown on this World Featherweight Pillow contest
"Ladies and gentlemen, in the black corner, weighing in at 4.5kgs we have The Ravin' Raven. And in the white corner weighing in at a downy light of 3.2kgs we have the sultry Pillow n' Slip."
Place your bet please ...
Banned for drinking in bed! I know that old trick, "water" bottles, HA! Vodka, all day long.
@---BOX--- I just glanced at the squares and assumed they were a 1-2-3, until I read RB's ban on you. Then I looked again and that is really funny! PV will get a chuckle.
Banned for taking "poetic license" (haha) with PV's picture and thus creating the impression that PV is really pro vodka in hot water bottles, therefore you have exerted an unapproved likeness of PV for your own gains of securing more students for the "BA in the Proper Filling and Usage of the Recreational Hot Water Bottle" studies course (approx. €23,000 per annum) that you are currently offering!
You scoundrel! :O :O :O
@ A total scoundrel/scallywag/blackguard/rogue/ rascal/rapscallion is what I am and PV is already working on the plans for the Bedroom Waterbottle Optics that will include a seductive range of vodka, whiskey, coctails (as shaken by Tom Cruise) and of course some nibbles for between the sheets. RB will of course be handling orders and training manuals.
Banned for unnecessarily triple-banning the same person within a single ban message, when one ban would have been sufficient. As the fingers in the profile picture suggest, that was two bans too many.
OTT use of the banning rule (one banning order per passing whim) and having those fingers in the air much too long.
Banned for sympathising with someone’s ailments in chat but secretly thinking they’re a whinger and just get on with it for flips sake
Banned for not providing "Winger Relief Form 000931-M.a1" in triplicate to the nearest Winger Sympathiser Organistion for immediate dispute/resolution which you know is in violation of Code 312133456009-31b as we have been through this before with you when you appeared to be a non-whinger, but were really only wearing a clever disguise (glasses and mustache) that we now recognise as Winger attire!
@---BOX--- Probably mobile spell check. My "smart" phone does that to me all the time.
Banned for photoshopping my nethers on this poor guy's face and alerting everyone that I have neglected my trimming duties.
Banned for getting your degree in yet another new profession without telling us, Monsieur Box. Or should I call you Dr. of Dermatology Box?
Banned for not knowing that Christmas decorations are put up after the 10th of December in my part of the world (and it's my son's birthday so didn't want to mix things when he was small). Would the Bender know and good offers on a second hand Christmas tree?
Banned for the very disappointed look of the second Turkey in regards to the fate of the first Turkey. Or is that jealousy? Maybe turkeys like that. I have read that some people do.
Banned for subliminally marketing Christmas dinner offers for a well known supermarket chain.
Banned for pretending you're not fully learned in gobbledygook just so you could use it as an excuse to ban, Dr. of Linguistics Box.
@delamitri As you may (or may not) be aware that yes, I have studied with the masters of gobbledygook in the University of Edinburgh in the Department of Cloudus Cuckooland, known locally as Cloud Cuckoo.
Gobbledygook is the basis for J.R.R Tolkien's Lord of the Rings, being the first language he invented for the inhabitants of Middle Earth.
To the untrained eye RB gobbledygook is passable fake , but to the keen observer and student of the world there are large margins of error especially when trying to give an official tone to the order.
I am afraid the Ban will have to stand for RB and for such a weak defense by your good self and this reprehensible scallywag, I must inform both your good self Mne. D. and the rogue Mr. Crutch that the order is extended to include both of you. An appeal shall not be considered at this juncture unless evidence is forthcoming to change things.
Banned for letting grown men sit on your lap and lick your ear (you know he wasn't whispering) even though you are happily married with a wife in the North Pole.
Banned for suggesting that FATHER Christmas has been transgenderised and my underarm sweat is icing for the cake! Shame on you!
Banned for blubbering and feeling sorry for yourself while breaking every rule in the book
Banned for using far too much of the SHAMING in your orders when everyone knows it is a crying shame to walk about the street in that condition. Less shaming and more use of the proper toilet facilities provided, please RB.
@delamitri I take full responsibility for the quality of the adult nappy purchasing system and a thorough review is under way as I write.
@---BOX--- Pending the outcome of this review, I am temporarily suspending active discipline.
Banned for OBVIOUSLY pinching pennies and buying subpar nappies, basically shirking your duties and allowing all this mess in the first place.
I reject this banned in the name of my fellow union workers who on their feet 18 hours a day providing the best toilet facilities 2M can provide on such a meager budget and I call for the banning of those wilful vandals such as Ms. Bird who advocates the total collapse of the sanitary system and flaunts her slogans "I am a proud poo wearer! Poo partners unite!" under the noses of the respectable church going public.
Our record of cleaniness being next to godliness speaks for itself and these poo rangers are dragging our good name down among their excrements - and the smell. It's like Paris before they invented Chanel No. 9. We need Distin Hoffman to cover the stink
dosmovies.com/watch_movie/Perfume_The_St....
Banned for bucking this fragile banning system and potentially disrupting our natural order that we've already been struggling to maintain.
Banned because you got Crutch all crossed up and pondering over consuming his own sausage and he's clearly hinting that he needs yoga instruction so that he might realize this new dream one day soon.
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God
RAVENOUSbird (2 months ago)
In the interests of clarity:
THIS IS A GAME AND MEANT FOR FUN.
BE NICE!
The goal here in this game is to give reasons as to why the person above you should be banned. Here are a few examples:
Banned for starting the thread.
Banned for too many damn rules.
Banned for cursing.
And so on.
Be creative and give appropriate reasons, but keep it friendly (don't make it personal).
To continue: