Ban the Person Above You -- Part FIVE 5 (3228 views, 426 replies)
senior master
Banned for posting such a nice gif that will keep me so occupied, I won't have time to be harrassing and trolling others on the site.
@delamitri Just may way of jump starting the thread back into life D.
But hey, that was cute and warm and fuzzy. 
@delamitri Ah! OK well I suppose I was just reflecting the reputation I have among the "GROUP of THREE" (got blocked by the Christian nice guys too and I haven't even been in contact with them) so I have the one way ticket to "Partyland Afterlife".
But hey ... it was still warm and fuzzy!
God
senior master
Banned for using your telescopic lens (you know the one I'm talking about) to put a stakeout on my bedroom window when you should be using it for the Neighbourhood Watch Scheme.
God
Banned for selling off all my voyeur equipment to fund expenses for your dastardly, deceitful, deceptive, destructive rag. This ban includes all your sneaky, slimy, scurvy, sordid staff!
senior master
You are so banned for filling your banning order with so many compliments that it sounds like you are fawning.
And I will be passing on all those juicy adjectives (you forgot creepy!) to the wonderful hard workers (including your good self) tirelessly bringing the best of fake news.
It's 'd' and 's' words like these that let us know we are making a difference for our loyal readers.
God
Banned for singing when you thought no one else was around. Aaaaargh! I was in the closet and heard it all. I can't win.
expert
Banned for singing in the shower and dropping your soap-on-a-rope mic, causing your song to turnout sounding like drowning cats in boiling water.
[SPOILER]
expert
senior master
Banned because I have heard it on the grapevine that your appearances have altered radically and blonde is the new pinkie - how could you? And that accent - where did the southern drawl go?
senior master
Banned for showing all the typical symptoms of GOT Withdrawl - take a couple of asprins and a bottle of Irish and everything will look (and sound and taste and smell) differently in the morning.
You'll have other things to worry about anyway.
senior master
Banned for being so insensitive to the depression of a GOT fan after an apparently [SPOILER] final episode. Alcohol is not the route to take. Start a revolution and write your own sequel.
God
Banned for posting spoilers and making me look. I was so disappointed that there weren't any nudes in there.
senior master
Banned for spoiling the spoiler and revealing what is NOT there (reverse psychology of Jung and Nolan 1934). Nudies are not allowed according to section 69.911 of the TOS agreement updated in the fifth month of the year of out Lord 2019.
Any infringements will result in dire third party consequences, and a fourth and fifth party may have to be arranged in order to sort this mess out.
God
Banned for not providing me with a safe space where I can hide from the dreaded 3rd party. I'll just have to make my own! [SPOILER]
senior master
Banned for spending too much time lazying around in the sun, topping up the tan and sipping ice tea without using the appropriate sun block cream (50+ for those of a pinkie complexion).
God
Banned for suggesting I'm lazy when you work me to a fugue state and then toss me out on a lounger with a dirty nappie.
senior master
Banned for fudging the fugue (nice word btw) which is caused not by the overworking but overingesting Arnold's bumbombs while pretending to look for lice.
Apologies for the dirty nappy but due to the holiday weekend there was a mix up in the delivery and we received 100 pounds of the Naffy Braids and I was thinking we could keep a couple of the pink ones for you and RB.
God
Banned for the entire 3.7 hours that it will take you to braid all of RB's hair. You have to use at least 3 different colors of Naffy Braids and it must look natural when you are through. If you get it right the 1st time, I'll take over nappie "doodies" for a week.
senior master
Banned for not looking at the small print. Naffy braids come with a Naffy slave who has gold certificates from the highest institutions of the field and has even set the world record of 56 minutes.
Her latest creation is ...
The NappY equipment is on the way via DHL.
God
Banned while we wait for the nappy equipment to arrive. You'll thank me later, as the smell around here is not amazing. We're gonna need some fly spray as well.
senior master
Banned for not using some environmentally friendly fly exterminators like the one below - your favourites I hear ...
God
Banned for being the person above me. You know how much I hate being the person below.
God
senior master
What hair? Banned for aggrandizing CB's ego by suggesting there is something under his hat.
God
senior master
Banned for helping yourself to the last of the ice cream during the shortage of '19 and not sparing a thought for the kiddies whose birthday party you were entertaining at.
God
Banned for giving those little rugrats the idea that they had rights and valid expectations. Now the needy creatures are crawling all over me, looking for handouts.
senior master
Banned for confusing your clients with my lovable, jovial, cutie pie rugrats that brought hours of joy, peace and quiet to our household. Quality entertainment.
Shame on you!
God
God
senior master
Banned for illegally honking your horn at camels on the way to the forum with that major throbber you are bragging about.
senior master
Banned for flirting with the traffic cop while he was writing you a ticket for parking in the VIP space for the mayor. And the mayor had to drive round the block 10 times, causing enviromental damage and high blood pressure.
[SPOILER]
God
Banned by order of the mayor. What you didn't know was that the mayor paid me to park there so he had an excuse to drive around the block 10 times. [SPOILER]
senior master
An excuse to waste valuable taxpayer's money polluting the environment with an unknown contortionist in the passenger seat doing gawd only knows and having no security clearance to be that close to an elected official?
Come, come ... such a fairytale wouldn't be found in a Hans Christian Andersen book.
Totally banned for fake news and embellished, kiddy bedtime stories.
senior master
An executive banning order is being served on the person above for continuing to ban after being banned numerous times and completely igoring the lot of them. This executive order has been signed by a very pointy signature which means major trouble so you should make arrangements to leave the country in a hurry (and use those old pinkie passports, just in case).
@delamitri Oh!MyGoodnessGracious 
Poor Pinkie ... and what big arms you have.
Shall I book you in for a shampoo and set, Dearest?
God
Banned for reckless executive banning on the banmaster and thus causing a time-space warping paradox.
senior master
Banned for not knowing that the time-space warping paradox can be avoided completely by using the Flux Capacitor (see below) invented on November 5, 1955, by Dr. Emmett Brown of Back To The Future fame.
@delamitri I was thinking of other members D but you may be onto something here. Some interesting applicants for membership.
senior guru
@uunboundd So true ... turning into a bad HABIT. All this navel-gazing makes one feel quite the NOVICE, and in the end you are left preaching to the CHOIR.
senior master
Banned for harbouring secret desires to captain the ship and sail away to the Bermuda triangle.
God
Banned for evading a previous ban that was not actually a ban but was already being evaded by a preceeding ban that was also not an actual ban but this one is.
@delamitri This is the very definition of a "a gummy diversion ban" - all hot air and confusing, but lacking bite.
senior master
Banned for being the soul of discretion by not revealing those top secret confidences that were disclosed to you by the powers above.
We need more unsubstantiated rumour-mongering and false gossiping. [SPOILER]
God
senior master
Banned because Gabe has just realised that he is a 25 year old wanna be child actor, (playing Charlie from the chocolate factory) and this dream will become his nightmare.
Meanwhile, Garrett will go on to do some great work in the umpteenth Ebola outbreak, in Dallas, as the head WHO organiser. His teeth will remain the same and the bleech blonde hair will suffer leaving him as bald as a tyre on Lewis Hamilton's F1 race car.
senior master
Banned for failing to acknowledge that fast tyres on fast cars driven by bald men are about as sexy as you could hope to see and for failing to give the proper space on your SEX thread for what real women want.
FAIL x 2 = DOUBLE DOOBIE FAILURE!!
God
senior master
Banned for showing rather personal porky porn pictures before the 10 o'clock watershed.
senior master
God
@delamitri all i can think is: what will your husband think when he goes looking for something and finds that thing you wrote just for a gag pic
- or is that how you keep people from snooping around your most valuable possessions?
@uunboundd Funny you should say that. Recently, he has become quite concerned with my obsession with "dirty boxes" and "boxes with balls and pussies."
senior master
Banned for trolling in the most trollopy fashion and filling my nom de plume with naughty poetry and other household items.
God
Banned for holding confidential Top Secret meetings in the bathroom when I REALLY gotta go!
senior master
God
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God
Half banned for making me burn out my eyeballs. I take half the blame, because you warned me. But you KNOW I can't resist a spoiler to save my life!
senior master
Banned for not understanding the secret meaning behind the Head's ...
Psycho killer, qu'est-ce que c'est?
Fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, fa, far better
Run, run, run, run, run, run away.
[SPOILER]
God
senior master
God
senior master
Banned for offering carrot/tomato juice on St. Patrick's cousin's sister-in-law's saint's day. So sad.
God
Banned for making up a holiday at whim. You had me searching Google for 6 hours. Time I could have spent spraying stain remover on some of my personal items.
@delamitri The feast day is only celebrated in the town of Killmacrudden, just outside Magharbeag close to the Leitrim/Sligo border. Also famous for the Little People and pots of gold under the Cluas chait
@delamitri Well she was adopted by the Duquesa de Bernardeau who also found a way to crossbreed big doggies into even bigger doggies to make them look like ...
Another true story from the archives of the 2MOoOB Enquirer.
senior master
Banned for not being able to join the BOYS which means you will have to develop that secret superpower you have; promoting feline propaganda with splashes and dashes of toilet humour online.
senior master
Banned for showing your weakness to the enemy - forgetfulness, thus the necessity of repeating the same fact again and again ... Humbug!
[SPOILER]
senior master
senior guru
senior master
senior guru
senior master
senior guru
God
senior guru
senior master
Banned for making me look in the same mirror as 'RedruM' in order to find out what your tricky name meant.
senior guru
God
Banned because you're not a blond bimbo girl in a fantasy world who I can make fun of.
senior guru
senior master
senior guru
senior master
Totally banned for leaving your bus pass and mobile in the magic tricks shop while you were 'there'.
God
Banned because you Feel the beat from the tambourine and you're Having the time of your life.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for missing the midnight train to Georgia yesterday and now you are unable keep to the rhythm of the night.
senior master
@Buttless Are you suggesting that the train is a [SPOILER] symbol , and Georgia is really Georgina Campbell ( dosmovies.com/actor_director/Georgina_Ca.... that cool babe who is a pretty good actress.
And, and the rhythm is ... that vertical expression of a horizontal desire?
gosh!
senior guru
senior master
Banned for being lazy with your banning orders and not applying yourself. Room to improve.
senior guru
senior master
senior guru
senior master
banned for not knowing that mild mannered janitor is a super-hero who wears his undies on the outside, and used to go poof! in a phone-box but there aren't any phone boxes any more.
senior guru
senior master
banned for extreme jealousy just because I have the coolest friends and am sidekick to the awesome and fabulous. 
senior master
Banned for delusional thingamabobs and creating imaginary playmates that go poof! from the other side.
God
Banned for messing up poo by putting an "f" at the end of it. You know I like plain poo.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for criticising Delamitri's poo.
She may have plain poo or sham poo but I am sure it smells of roses.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for showing cute photos of a furry butt, discriminating against those who may have a bald or shaggy butt, or even be buttless.
senior master
senior master
Banned for being metaphorical about truth, which is an absolute and cannot be metaphoricalized.
God
senior master
Banned for hurting all these dudes' and dudettes' feelings ... how could you do that and Big Bird isn't even in the pictures and he/she/it is super sensitive about his colour. And Tweety Bird? And Lisa? and Pooh? 
@delamitri ♫ All yellow people, Where do they all belong?♬ Outside your front door, picketing.
I saw the film Yesterday at the weekend and the song stuck in my head ... quite funny if you know the Beatles music.
senior master
Banned for mentioning Pooh when there are already too many scatological references in this thread.
senior master
Banned for confusing base scatological humour with the jovial, whimsical and philosophically nuanced statements of Winnie the PooH;
Shame on you Butt!
senior master
Banned for spreading fake news about Winnie the Pooh. This sweet young bear would never use vulgar words, his expletives are quite restrained like 'bother' or perhaps 'damn' in extreme situations.
senior guru
God
senior guru
senior master
senior master
Banned for starting a Christmas book club, which everybody knows is a get-together for trouble-making liberals.
senior guru
senior master
senior master
senior master
Banned for not abiding by the tried and tested "only speak when spoken to" code of etiquette, used from 1844 onwards by kings, queens and small, yellow one-eyed minions alike.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for introducing more imaginary friends with wings, eternally drunk in some countries (Russia, France, Scotland/Ireland) on The Angel's Share for the following reason.
The Angel's Share: the amount of an alcoholic drink (such as vodka, cognac, or whiskey) that is lost to evaporation when the liquid is being aged in porous oak barrels Up to 1 percent of the volume of the cask can be lost each year through evaporation, sometimes called the angel's share.
senior guru
senior master
senior master
Banned for letting your wee eight year old "angel" hang out with the big lads on a school night. Shame on you.
senior master
senior master
Banned for not realising that this box is responsible for cornering the market on "catnip" and thus addicting cat owners to photos that show their feline friend making facial expressions like this ...
and eventually taking over the world. [EVIL LAUGH]
senior master
senior guru
senior master
Banned for blaming the google goofers for groping our links when you should be looking at microhard for manhandling our muttons and buttons
senior master
senior master
Banned for banning me from your store, just because I drank too much beer there and acted disgracefully.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for having character traits in common with Prince Andrew, like not drinking whiskey.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for not banning Crutch for his unforgivable lack of whiskEy knowledge, and should not have been beating about the BUSH with a JEMMY on the side.
senior master
Banned because I'm having a sh*tty day and feel like banning everyone, whether they deserve it or not.
senior master
And ban the censorising bot too. If I write sh*tty i mean sh*tty but it changes it to sh(*)tty.
senior master
Banned for not playing the other games to get you out of your SHITTY mood. (Bots can't read Capitals)
senior master
Banned and blocked for speaking up against the rotational, blocking by association used by a non goddess.
senior master
member
Banned for not using the A,B,C blocks to play with the children who like putting up their thumbs.
senior master
member
senior master
banned for nagging about Christmas shopping and calling me parsimonious, just because its cheaper to buy presents at the after-Christmas sales.
senior guru
senior master
member
senior guru
senior master
member
Banned for assuming a marital status in this day of PC - if in doubt you should use Ms. NoNeed2Argue
senior master
@Buttless 
Perhaps it is time to use a genderless title then.
What about M. Buttless?
@NoNeed2Argue I must admit to being totally confused about all the new classifications, particularly calling everyone 'they'. Might just stick to being straight and normal!
member
Banned for not knowing that the sheep sheering trials are finished for the season.
senior master
member
master
member
Banned for forgetting to order the turkey so now your family will be stuck with a chicken.
senior master
@Buttless I wish!!!!
You might be thinking of Marilyn - this was a peer of hers called Jayne Mansfield. Not sure if she was with JFK or not.
There were so many!
@NoNeed2Argue Ah, Jayne Mansfield. Britain's answer to MM. What happened to her or did she just get old gracefully?
@Buttless You must be thinking of Diana Dors.
JM was American and died in a car accident at 34.
All her details can be found here ... www.biography.com/actor/jayne-ma...
senior guru
member
master
senior guru
master
top expert
with banning comes great responsibility and my momma said: ban!!!!! ban you all MUhahahhahhahahhahha!!!!!!!!
senior master
member
Banned for not seeing it as an opportunity to coin some other interesting vocabulary or recycle some old fashioned swear words like sard and swive which may sound harmless but refer to the very same act that is so taboo, it needs a * to protect our sensitive eyes.
senior guru
senior master
member
senior master
senior master
Banned for letting the pink elephants loose during the festivities and forgetting to feed them.
senior master
senior master
@Buttless I think my trolling fan club are using their combined brain cell to log in via alt profiles and thumbing down all of my posts and anyone I interact with. It seems they can only manage eight or nine alt accounts between them as that seems to be their thumbs down max - I am hoping for higher numbers in the negative zone. Perhaps a mod might notice and do something about it?
senior master
senior master
senior master
senior master
Banned for not realising the importance of DAY - for example today is International 2MOoOBers Day. A day dedicated to those tireless, hard working reviewers on 2Movies who help us decide movies to watch and avoid. Whoot!
senior master
Banned for using pictures of Doris DAY on another entity, and claiming your 2 moobs are like hers.
senior master
DD ? or am i getting my sex goddesses mixed again?
And where is Delamitri? she promised me a spanking.
senior master
Doubly banned for using an ad free forum to advertise the Divine Delamitri's extra curricular, one the side money making activities (without advancing proper fees and licence) AND for suggesting that I would get myself mixed up with a sex goddess.
She looks a bit like Marilyn Monroe from this angle?
[SPOILER]
senior master
senior master
Banned for being easily confused and was there any democratic spanking involved in your Nancy boy's dreams?
senior master
senior guru
member
Banned for annoying the neighbours by trying to be Phil Collins before he started singing.
senior master
senior master
senior guru
senior master
Banned because ... “You don’t know the power of the dark side! I must obey my master.” and for not cleaning your shoes with the right brush.
senior master
senior master
Banned for not taking advantage of the cheap "between the holidays" flights to darker places.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for not ordering the St. Valentine's paraphernalia (you know the stuff) with only two weeks to go.
senior master
senior guru
senior master
senior master
senior master
Banned for pretending to understand US politics, and using poseur-ish words like embroilment.
senior master
Banned for trying to dumb down this intellectually challenging game and undermine its integrity.
Punishment will be the usual spanking with stilettos tied to a cat o' nine tails.
Lord have mercy on your butt.
senior master
senior guru
senior master
Banned for not picking up your doggie's poo with the correct biodegradable, compostable disposal bags.
senior guru
senior master
senior master
Ban for being spotted night walking your doggie so you don't have to scoop the poop under the cover of darkness. Shame on you.
senior master
Banned for complaining when I put my goggie-poop in your mail-box. I was just trying to keep the streets tidy.
senior master
senior master
Self banned for provoking certain members to wearing out their mouse clickers by constantly clicking on the little RED FIST WITH THE THUMB POINTING DOWN.
Remember ...
senior master
Banned for not appreciating your followers.
"the only thing worse than being downvoted is being ignored" ap. to Oscar Wilde.
senior guru
senior master
senior master
senior master
senior master
Banned for not celebrating St. Patrick's Day, and using a certain viral pandemic as an excuse not to get wasted, and drown your shamrock, and wake up with the worst hangover in history.
Shame on you.
senior master
senior master
Banned for having a soft spot for Sean Connery as James Bond, and not appreciating Daniel Craig's contribution in bringing the character into the #metoo era.
senior guru
senior master
master
Banned for staying home and picking your nose ('n scratching your watch or winding your butt) - when the WHO / CDC tells ya too! xx0x0xx
master
Banned for saying whoooo and sounding like an owl... despite appropriate rock 'n roll reference.
master
senior master
Banned for grizzling because no-one upvoted you, although it is obvious that now the downvoting wankers have departed no-one bothers any more. But I gave you one to shut you up, don't waste it.
senior master
master
master
master
senior master
senior master
Banned for insisting on showing your true stripes, while at the same time crying crododile tears for the zebras in the nature documentaries.
master
Banned for not crying over croc's munching zebras in the docu's. Wait, izzat whut happened or... nevermind. Banned regardless!!
senior master
master
senior master
Banned for using 1970s Irish (Holy Moley) slang used only by nuns (out of earshot of the Parish Priest) on Easter Sunday when they discover that their store of painted eggs had been robbed by Billy Biffo and the Boys from the Blackstuff.
senior master
Banned for revealing personal experiences with nuns.
What happens in the Sacristy stays there (except certain cardinals who finally got caught).
master
senior master
Banned for spending too much time admiring Butt's humour and not doing what you are supposed to be doing here - BANNING, BANNING,BANNING.
senior master
senior master
Banned for using buzz words like "self-isolation" where normal, lower income cousins of mine call it "on holidays" or "on the lam".
senior master
senior master
Banned for inferior effort at rap
Banned on the lam
Without no butter [SPOILER],, no jam
No loving, oh damn.
Bo-peep chewing spam
While waiting for her man
To bring on home the ham.
What a scam.
senior master
Banned for completely missing the point of rap.
Where are the F*ck B*tch N*gga words, the cultural core of this artform?
senior master
You're banned and you know it.
Forget the quips, you blowed it.
You're b**ching for a switching
I'm itching for a hitching
When you rip it up, you da better sew it.
Punk!
senior master
master
Totally banned for remembering much less mentioning Tiny Tim... blissfully don't know anything about Nana M.
@(⌐■_■) Well we will just have to blow that bliss to smithereens and educate the world about the woman who sang in so many languages and looked like a 70s version of Tina Fey with great set of pipes and specs.
Here she is singing a very famous piece of music called the "Concierto de Aranjuez" in Spanish AND it was the first place I lived in (just outside Madrid)when I arrived off the boat/plane, for a year. A beautiful respite from the heat of the capital for the Royal Family in olden days.
senior master
master
Banned for tastelessnes... isn't that a symptom of Corvid19? 
and I really don't like bugs, even those that can hum a tune.
(( runs away screaming))
senior master
senior master
Banned for suggesting that the Libtards would have the wherewithal for such an elaborate HOAX. There is only one super villian (with sidekick) that could conceive and execute such a dastardly and fiendish scheme ...
senior master
Banned for posting a picture of Dick Dastardly, and being disgusting.
We all know what D*ck means.
senior guru
senior master
senior guru
master
senior master
Banned for spreading rumours about quarantines, all part of the virus hoax. Big DT said so.
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senior master
Banned for not taking your "repetitive banning syndrome" medication and destroying an innocent "quesito" in the name of voodoo black magic.
senior master
senior master
Banned for not knowing "I speak Spanish to God, Italian to women, French to men, and German to my horse".
Charles V
senior master
Banned for trying to predict what a future king might say to women and horses.
The civilised world had two King Charles (and beheaded the first), one day Charles III and his lovely Camilla will grace the throne.
It could be a few years before we see Charles V.
senior guru
senior master
Banned for not knowing:
Those that fail to learn history (from a person without a permit), are doomed to repeat it. -Winston Churchill
senior master
Banned for chopping off Winston's forefinger - how in heeaven's name will he pick his nose during the great game of Risk in the sky?
senior master
Banned for being in lockdown too long and passing the time playing 'Risk' which everyone knows is a game for those too old for naked Twister.
senior master
senior master
Banned for removing your Bill Gates microchip and burning down cellphone towers to prevent Covid-19, which everyone knows is a fake news.
[SPOILER]..
senior master
Banned for failing to buy several firearms [SPOILER] and to protest against the lockdown which is totally unnecessary, and continues to interrupt my sunbathing schedule.
senior master
Banned for being one of the 95.71% of Earth's people [SPOILER] who live in places where you don't need an M16 in each hand and an M1 Abrams under the bed.
senior master
Banned for questioning the Dark Lord of the Conspiracy Theory and his use of valuable forum space here, whilst having copious amounts of parking space and a converted congregation over on anysubj.com.
master
Banned for inisting conspirators go back to their custom made newsy-cathedral of crap. How many sites do these battle-encrusted peeps need to 
on and ruin - when they've been accomodated to the MAX over 'there'? Doc needs folks activly clicking OVER THERE to cover the cost of his hard work.
Def Banned for trying to help. 
senior master
Banned for upsetting the conspirators, downvoting trolls, rednecks and wankers by suggesting they spread their poop in their own playpen.
senior guru
senior master
senior master
Hear ye! Hear ye! Hear ye!
Consider your ass, butt and bum banned for insisting on mixing religion and politics.
Be advised that other body parts are under investigation, and the resulting ruling may not be so painless next time.
Hee-haw!
senior master
Banned for suggesting religion and politics are different things, and can be separated in any way.
senior master
Banned for not ordering the latest trendy, fab, patriotic product since the Hula Hoop.
Available with Big Macs, Medical Insurance policies, any Burger King meal and all orders on Amazon.
senior master
senior master
Banned for trying to create an international incident with our American (and Friends of America) colleagues, and putting a target on my back (and front, and top, and sides).
senior master
senior master
senior master
senior guru
senior master
senior guru
senior master
senior master
Banned for assuming there is an ass to appreciate, because by the looks of your handle you may need some surgery to beef up the buttox.
senior master
senior master
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God
Ravenousbird (3wk)
Continued from here: dosmovies.com/forum/thread/Ban-the-Perso....
This is a game and meant for fun.
Banned for starting the thread.
Banned for too many damn rules.
Banned for cursing.
And so on.
Be creative and give appropriate reasons, but keep it friendly (don't make it personal).
To continue...