The lighter side of Putin. (790 views, 5 replies)
master
HAHH HAAH VERY FUNNNY.---Reporters from America ask Putin what he he thought of first Trump election;Putin said, "you Americans keep using electronic voting machines?keep em,LOTS OF FUN!! HEE HEE!" 
Reporters also asked Putin "who should the Democratts run for president?"Putin starts laughin, laughs so hard he chokes,needs a cup of tea(with vodka.Reporter asks him,"What's so funny?"Putin startd laughing again,so he cries."DEMOCRATS! DEMOCRATS SO FUNNY!"
@clarachan1355 YOU KNOW WHEN rUSSIA FIRST liberated from Soviet Union, who was one of first investora?-to invest in new Russia?
JANE FONDA. She figure all the Russsian women could use an excercise program called"PUT DOWN THAT POTATO!--THEN Run for the border!"She figures many women may get a LOT OF EXCERCISE(i used to see a lot of Jewish Russians coming into San Franciso CA)
So, there may be less women IN Russia---but if so, NO MORE DOCTORS!
master
Putin was meeting at one point,in his official office with Prime Minister MERKLE of Germany.He was also having his large black dog come back from its walk with the servant(also he has SLAVES, but its RUSSIA, NOT MUCH DIFFERENCE!!)and as chance would have it, both his large dog and Merkle were ushered into the meeting room at the same time.
Putin stares for a minute,and then says,,irritated,"OK SOMEBODY BARK!!"
master
Putin was asking about the USA'S problems.The diplomatic was trying to explain "social problems in the USA " to Putin.Putin replies at one point,"OK, I agree you need big fence around to stop (not us!!)invaders from coming into America.We do that, to keep people in!!"--but Putin asks further,you don't act like you are afraid of foreign invaders,you got no huge fence; but why are you all more worried about "Latino illegal aliens" more than invaders of war??I don't understand that!!"
And the diplomat explains,"If we get invaders,they will only kill all the men,and rape the women and kids,steal everything,burn it up, and take over as head of country."
"illegal aliens on the other hand,will take all our jobs,raise their uneducated kids in our schools(we pay more taxes)live off our welfare,and NEVER LEAVE,and then RAISE ten kids at a time here!!Invaders ARE NOT SO harmful, but illegal aliens BLOAT govt. forever,and RAISE ALL TAXES!!--then we REALLY GO BROKE!!"
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guru
Vladimir Putin arrives at an airport, gets in line at customs desk.
Customs officer: Occupation?
Putin: No, just visiting.
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Stalin's ghost appears to Putin in a dream, and Putin asks for his help running the country. Stalin says,
"Round up and shoot all the democrats, and then paint the inside of the Kremlin blue."
"Why blue?" Putin asks.
"Ha!" says Stalin. "I knew you wouldn't ask me about the first part."
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“The situation in Ukraine keeps getting more tense. And now Vladimir Putin has moved 10,000 troops to the Russian-Ukrainian border. Russia says its troops are there only for a training exercise. When asked what they’re training for, Russian officials said, ‘Invading Ukraine.'”
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– Tell me, what is the number one product of mass consumption in Russia?
– Putin’s lies.
– Why not vodka?
– Because fewer people consume vodka.
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